N.U. Confidential

          Today, I ran into Peter, watched Psy's brilliant "Gangnam Style," and generally hung out. After night fell, the 616 girls came over, and Sean, Alaric and I spent some time in the chairs outside West F enjoying the evening and reflecting. Scott and Ruthie came by and said hello, and not long after we headed in for a night of excitement. Jaimie came over, along with a freshman she calls Cyber David; Eric's friends Allie and Chris also joined us. I obtained some peace by visiting Heather and catching up with her, then hanging out with her and Zoe. The three of us returned to IV and got down to business, chilling out and snacking. I listened to a variety of music and lurked the Humans of New York Facebook page. We closed out the night with Se7en and L.A. Confidential, both very good suspense/action films and well worth the time.
          Quotes of the day:
"Oh, Rebecca! I've missed you, you saucy wench!" - Eric
"I hate people who walk slow, and I appreciate your actions against them." - Eric
"That sign is, like, hypnotically convincing. You're like, 'What? Don't walk? Yes, master.'" - Eric
"The best rapper name I came up with in high school was Lil Yung Boi." - Eric
"I feel like that's Shank Alley." - Sean
"Streets of Rage 2... Ruggles." - Alaric
"Andy, I don't believe you, dude! This guy is falling down!" - Harrison
"Oh, fate is a cruel master!" - Sean
"Lightnin'!" - Alaric
"Can I get a jolt?" - Alaric
"Gentlemen..." - Sean
"You go there, they overcharge you, and it tastes delicious." - Sean
"One in six! Where's the girl?" - Eric
"This is how you know you're back at school." - Harrison

Hashtag Huskies

          Moving in was a huge stress. I stayed up all night but still wasn't done getting everything in order, and my whole family fought through the process in the morning. I slept on the ride to Boston. At Northeastern, I first ran into Lauren and Ryan near the parking garage, saw Ariel in the lobby of West F, and met up with the gents of 610. I ate stir fry with the family at Stetson West, where my mother implied that the tuition went up due to all of the cookies I eat. The rest of the day was a flurry of moving things around and attempting to move in.
          Quote of the day:
"Hashtag alpha." - Sean

Overtime! Overtime! Overtime! Overtime!

          Today turned into a long, long day of dealing with responsibilities. I took out my new school loan, obtained a variety of food and other groceries in Kingston, waived my NU health insurance, and began the packing process. While shopping, I also bought myself a fresh pair of headphones. They're a big set of brown over-ear Philips, and I'm very pleased with them in comparison to the Walkman phones I've been subsisting with. The summer ended on a high note after Shanti and I decided to hang out, and I bought my first piece of art from her! After I got home, I spent the entire night packing for Boston tomorrow.

Workaday

          Today was spent calculating financial things for school, cleaning house and getting everything ready to pack. I finished cataloging everything moved back into the house, put all my money together and left my room in a better state than it's been for a week. My productivity ought to be returning.

Red Wagon Days

          Last night, I dreamed that I was a child and an imaginary uncle drowned on a canoeing trip, shaking the entire family. I woke up feeling far more stirred than most dreams would leave me. After this briefly unpleasant start to the day, things went smoothly for a while. I enjoyed a great deal of Skyrim, though I need to play it on low settings, a mildly upsetting condition. After merely one day spent relaxing and playing a video game, not to mention my first day off work in some time, my father exploded about it. He asked me if I need "help," which was especially irritating. Some time later I counted all of my steelwork money for deposit tomorrow. A wondering question: Why is the NUPay symbol a little red wagon? What significance would that hold, financially?

An Ending (Ascent)

          And so it came to pass in the Hundred Acre Wood, but actually my job at the Red Onion this summer, that my last shift fell on a Sunday, thus a grueling dishwashing shift. In a strange twist, my last staff meal was the same as the first day I worked there: spaghetti with olives and a light salad. The shift went quietly enough, the kitchen started to pack it in a bit early, and I was done by half past eleven. Brian sent me a pleasing message about his new appreciation for TF2. All in all, not a bad last night on the job.

The Melting Point

          I finally exchanged my product key-less copy of Skyrim for a workable one at Target today, and received no trouble. Their return policy is pretty cool. Matt purchased an iPod for himself. In the evening I worked my last shift as a Red Onion busser. There, I saw a guy from my senior class apply for work and pondered why drinks with lots of ice go from being only slightly watery to extremely dilute within a short span of time.
          Quotes of the day:
"Not everyone thinks the outcome of a volleyball game is the work of God." - Matt
"I am not getting paid enough for this." - Ian T
"Look at that! Look at that wrist strength! Grrraaaaaahhhhhh!" - Customer L
"Yeah, that looks a bit overcooked." - Ciano, regarding a charred crisp
...
Matt: "My Chemical Romance."
Me: "Featuring Ke$ha?"

Old Times

          In those listless hours before an evening bus shift, I played Mann vs. Machine (TF2's new co-op mode) with Alaric and Sean. At work, I helped train a gangly lad named Kelton. I also had a jolting experience when the girl I lost my innocence to appeared at the bar to pick up food. Before I could decide whether or not to say hello, she was gone. It's just unusual not seeing someone for years and having them walk back into your life for a moment. After my shift, Sean and I played some more MvM and were soundly defeated by the overpowered AI.
          Quotes of the day:
"One more for old times' sake?" - Brian
"Comcast is fuckin' up." - random TF2 player

Android Dreaming

          For the last time, Brian and I hung out with Josh and watched several episodes of The Sopranos. To our horror, we found that Season 6 Part II consists of nine episodes, not one as we originally thought. I guess we won't be finishing out the show together, but what can you do? After a few of these installments, I passed out to Electric Sheep and slept easy.
          Quote of the day:
"They're dried green beans. You can have some if you want. They're probably bad." - Josh
"Tangy. I feel tangy." - Josh
"Sweet tea. I'm a Southern boy like that." - Josh

True Strength For America's Future

          Ryan sold me a glass of lemonade for a quarter today. He's been markedly fixated on money in the past couple of weeks, discussing ways to make it and asking my parents about the family's financial situation. This Sunday will mark my last day of work at the Red Onion, a final super-size dishwashing shift, and after that Brian and I will finish The Sopranos. The end of the summer really crept up on me.

Company: The Real Life Experience

          Tonight, six of us convened for a farewell type of dinner at the Red Onion. Katharine, Josh, Brian and Shanti met me at my house, while Murphy joined us at the restaurant. We had a scrumptious array of appetizers (steamed mussels, octopus cocktail, and Sicilian calamari) and I enjoyed a plate of goat cheese ravioli. After dinner, Katharine, Josh, Brian and I hung out briefly in the treehouse. I was very satisfied with how our plans worked out.

Liquid Sunshine

          Upon waking up, Brian and I decided to go for a trip. First, we invited Josh over and watched a few episodes of The Sopranos. After this thirst was quenched, we ventured into Kingston for a grand day out. First, we visited Nicole at work at the Smoker's Choice, which I've never been inside before. I bought a new Djeep lighter, the first score of the day. After saying our goodbyes, we traveled into an area I haven't been to in some time. Josh bought some new strings for his guitar while Brian and I discussed the strangely consumerist nature of a Beatles neck strap. Next, we stopped at the Parent Teacher Store, a place that was almost fabled in my youth for its amazing array of toy trains, building blocks, action figures and other babbyswag. Walking in the door, the light, woody scent of the place sent me back ten years. We saw and avoided a fifth grade teacher from Morse, and I purchased three double-sided desk pens, a multicolored pair of dice and a miniature set of colored pencils. I scored an abandoned New York Times Fashion section off a bench. The store we'd originally intended to visit, Traders of the Lost Art, was closed, but we had plenty to do anyway. Our last stop in Kingston was at Columbia Beauty Supply, a costume place that my parents always mention but I'd never seen before. There, Brian was temporarily stuck in a ring and I made the greatest impulse purchase: an ornate masquerade mask with a long, hooked nose, my favorite type. With luck, I plan to acquire some more in the future. Back at the garage, we watched a number of Sopranos and Game of Thrones episodes, listened to Ingrid Michaelson, and enjoyed the rainstorm outside. My life was also threatened by an absolutely huge spider on my foot. It was a peaceful, happy day, and a bright spot in the summer.
          Quotes of the day:
"This is the best music I've ever heard." - Brian
"I could see some Russian bitch coming in and being like, 'I love it. I'll take two. It reminds me of Moscow.'" - Nicole
"Is good. Nobody will notice." - Josh, in a Russian accent
"Vogue! Strike a pose." - Josh
"Hand me that... Josh-mess. Trish's mess." - Brian

That Cake

          Another dishwashing shift today. I agreed to work one more after this, so here's to an end to suffering. I discovered a dead rat near the dumpsters while I was breaking down cardboard, which explains why it smells so heinous back there. After work, Brian and I repeated some more episodes of The Sopranos due to me watching them while he slept. It won't be long before I'm back at school, so fingers crossed for a quick end to the summer.
          Quotes of the day:
"So what is this, the University of Oxycontin?" - Chef
"They're like the evil office ladies in school." - Chef
"MAH-Co." - Brian, imitating Carmela Soprano
"They say they got that cake." - Brian, commenting on a girl's butt
...
After I found the rat...
Chef: "Did you eat it?"
Me: "Yeah, I gobbled it right up. On second thought, I should've saved it for the staff meal."
Chef: "Now you're talkin'."
Mick: "You hear that, Ciano? Rat and eggs."

Fate, Planning, and Luck

          I spent most of the morning playing Fate and just relaxing. Work was unique for a Saturday; business was steady, but at no point did we get hammered with that tremendous "hit" that occurs on most busy nights, wherein a million plates of food have to go out at once. It also happens to be Ian's birthday, and he got some cards and stuff.

Bringing It Home

          I burned an ocean-scented candle I've had for ages and slipped back into sleep as Brian watched another Sopranos episode. Work was busy (we had an 18-top at 5:00 sharp) and I was irritated that I was there from 5 to 10, leaving only shortly before the bussers who got there at 6 and 6:30. Happily, Steve Buscemi was introduced as a character in this season of The Sopranos, so I'm extra pleased by each episode he has a part in.
          Quote of the day:
"Bring it home, baby." - Customer K, as I loaded his plate with an absurd amount of grated cheese

Very Gnawty Genocide

          At Brian's, I read about the Turkish genocide of the Kurdish people while Brian played Donkey Kong Country. After a time we took off for Kingston to hit FYE and eat at the Red Lobster, where I gorged myself on their biscuits. In fact, that was the only memorable part of the meal. We ended up sleeping over at my house, taking advantage of my family's absence, and watched the first five episodes of the (newly obtained on DVD) fifth season of The Sopranos. A fun, lighthearted night, making these last couple of days a real highlight in my summer.

The Great Shawangunk Forest Conspiracy

          Today, Shanti picked me up for a little excursion. First, we drove to Poughkeepsie, meeting up with a friend from Purchase who is best described with these words: vibrant, peaceful, large in stature, Hawaiian, green-haired. He goes by Buddha, which makes sense, because he truly does have a Buddha-like attitude. We drove out through Highland, Jaimie's home turf, and stopped at a deli in the middle of nowhere called the Ardonia Market. The place was run by an Indian family (presumably) and we obtained some food there. I got Goldfish, some really interestingly packaged gum, a SoBe, a hard roll (a "buttered roll" for you children) and the best BLT I've had in a long time. Shanti and I stopped to laugh at the fact that they had two drug-themed magazines visible in the rack; I suppose that if I lived in the sticks, I'd probably buy them too. We also had a random encounter with some truckers and discussed sandwiches with them; one suggested jelly, mayo and liverwurst, while the other said that peanut butter with radishes makes a good treat.
          Adequately provisioned, we headed for Minnewaska State Park, located in the picturesque Shawangunks. I won't try to describe "the Gunks" as they looked as we passed through and soaked in the scenery, except to say that it's one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life. Occasionally, the spell was briefly fractured by something jarringly out of place; a skulled-out dragster hearse that passed us, for example. Once we reached the park, we began our trip. My first brilliant idea for the day: The Forest Service maintains its hated "logging accomplice" status to mask its true purpose -- every year, they sneak out in the dead of night and replace each tree with a slightly bigger one, shifting them around as necessary. This explains why trees grow more slowly than we can observe. This was followed by the idea of dryness as a marketable commodity in an extremely wet world.
          First, we found ourselves on a glacier-carved cliff above a lake. We watched as a dark sheet of water thundered toward us, let it slam into us, reveled in how primal it felt. As a bonus, the threat of this storm drove away most of the visitors for the day, excluding some hikers and a couple of badass dudes swimming laps in the lake. After it passed, a brilliant sun emerged and we soaked it in happily. We drank from pools of rainwater that gathered in depressions in the white stone of the cliffs. I hugged a tree, and though it's something I never thought I'd do, it was like embracing an old, weathered grandfather. I should mention that I could count the times that I've been happier on one hand. We discussed how people name things even though they're relatively insignificant to those same things; for example, you would describe a scene as "people next to a lake," not "a lake next to those people." By this line of reasoning, people might as well be described with regard to their surroundings, not the reverse; this is a return to a similar conversation Shanti and I had at Echo Lake. We also talked about the unfortunate nature of dolphins. Even though they're totally kickass animals who are known to fight sharks, they're too cute to be anything more than angsty-looking when rendered as art. (Imagine a biker with a dolphin tattoo.) It was here, too, that we experimented with the lake's echo, and were not disappointed. It was impressive, to say the least; a shout would fade, and after a few seconds would actually return over the mountains, clear as day.
          Moving on, we "hiked" along a very well-kept path along the top of the ridge, not yet in the more mountainous areas of the park. Stopping at a smaller cliff that looks out over the forest and another ridge, we talked about how much punishment the human body can soak up and described various injuries we'd had. At another spot a bit farther down the path, a long rock surrounded by trees, we really went deep with the conversation. Most of the talk revolved around the insignificance of humanity in a larger reality, different ideas of higher powers and the (alleged) afterlife, society as an essentially artificial organism (police and the military are antibodies and money probably serves as blood) and the arrogance of environmentalism. While I believe that the environment is something that should be defended for posterity, I also realize that this attitude is actually kind of silly. When humanity is gone, the odds that another civilization will chance upon Earth is pretty low, and who will care what the environment is like at that point? In other words, a pristine world is really only of value when someone is there to appreciate it.
          Moving on, we talked about what it's like to kill someone in a dream after Buddha recounted a recent one he'd had, and I found that I can't recall ever doing so. Our next stop was a fog-shrouded rock at what appeared to be the highest point around. Mist rising from its surface, the rock appeared to be a birthing bed of sorts for the clouds. Shanti attempted to create an echo here, but her cry was almost uncomfortably deadened. Buddha angrily rambled about the poor design of freezer bags and opined that the corners ought to be rounded off so as not to retain stuff. After we left this spot, we ate at a wet, mossy rock on a tree-lined slope and discovered a hideous, olive-green lichen we dubbed "toadskin." Buddha found an absolutely huge millipede, three inches long and a nickel's diameter. Insects and fish are creepy to me because they have such alien ways of thinking and operating, and a bug that moves in a wave over everything makes me exceedingly uncomfortable. I can't say I was unhappy when he released it back into the woods, afraid of crushing it as we climbed down some rocks. We stopped near a wall of rock covered in toadskin, but moved on after an unpleasant silence and bad vibes all around. None of us liked that wall very much, it would seem.
          The last place we stopped to rest was a remarkably park-like field on top of the mountain, and Buddha again lamented our lack of a frisbee. Splitting apart, we laid in the grass and looked at the clouds. To be at peace with everything is a wonderful feeling. Soon enough we had to go, and we returned Buddha to the train station, but not before stopping at the Poughkeepsie waterfront. There, we looked at the lights on the bridge over the Hudson, relaxed with the waves lapping on the shore and ate a delicious mango that Buddha obtained at the Ardonia Market earlier. The park was full of sketchy people and a young couple was getting romantic on a pier nearby, so Shanti and I headed out for good. After I returned home, I went to Brian's, where we discussed the day (incredible) and watched American History X (wonderfully tragic) and Up In Smoke (rather funny). It was a worthwhile day, and I feel like I lived it to the fullest.
          Quotes of the day:
"That other eon, when we were over there." - Shanti
"I guess this wouldn't be a bad place to die, when I'm old and ready." - me
"Somebody's feeling a little acidic over there." - Buddha
"The University of Trippin' Face. U Trippin' Face." - Buddha
"The University of Trippenface." - me, spelling it out
"I feel like a vessel of fluids that no longer wants to contain fluids." - Shanti
"She was just the bitch with the iodine." - Shanti
"What is tripping? It's a lot." - Buddha
"If you bite the knuckles of your second and third fingers and pull really hard... it feels like you're ripping your fingers off!" - Shanti
"I'm a punk-ass motherfucker, look at me!" - Shanti
"It was a bladed weapon. I just totally merc'd the guy." - Buddha, describing a dream
"This is gonna be quite a summer." - Shanti
"Drive out, smoke with some cows." - Buddha
"There is a bug for every molecule of your body for every person." - Shanti
"You are every person, now and forever, into eternity." - Shanti
"The universe is already there. It doesn't need to explain itself." - me, struggling with environmentalism
"Points are fuckin' pointless." - Buddha, concluding a 15 minute rant about plastic bags
"Chainbow Gathering: the negative version of the Rainbow Gathering." - Shanti
"Toadskin is a great metal band name." - me
"A TRIBE TO BRING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN! AHOOOOOOOOO" - Buddha
"It's just a good song to listen to in Saugerties." - Shanti, on "The Boys Are Back In Town"
...
Discussing thermite...
Buddha: "You could use it to open that jar of jam."
Me: "Yeah, there's just be globs of molten steel in the jam, if that's okay."
Shanti: "It'd just be iron fortified at that point."

Alone In a Crowd

          Today, my grandmother drove me to work. We listened to something that sounded suspiciously like Enya and she talked about how difficult it was to grow up when she did. In her youth, my grandmother folded shirts in a sweatshop-like factory for $6 a day. Though we don't always agree on certain issues, I always respect how hard she worked to provide for her family. The only remarkable moment at work was a strikingly beautiful woman arriving at the bar -- a tall blonde, though small and dark is typically more my type. After work, Brian, Josh and Summer came over to take advantage of my empty home (the family's in Lake George for a few days.) We occupied my room, listened to classic rock, reminisced and spent some quality time on the roof. It's sad to know that the summer is coming to an end, just as I'm spending more time with certain friends and settling in. I'll be glad to be back, so I suppose the best way is simply to live in the moment.
          Quote of the day:
"One time, we played with Diet Cherry Coke. It was a loooong night." - Summer
"There'll be so many babies 9 months later." - Summer, planning a party

Catch Up

          Work tonight was steady enough, but my ankle's been killing me since yesterday. After all the beating it took during cross country and track, I can't really be on it for more than a few hours without some intense aches coming up. Aside: I find it ironic that as a child, I suffered growing pains in my ankles and knees for years. It was like my body was saying, "Let's just draw attention to your height by making you feel pain that should indicate massive growth." I did actually have a pretty impressive growth spurt around sixth/seventh grade, but still. When I got home, Murphy and Catie were hanging out with Ian and waiting for me, so we all talked for a few hours, discussed various goings-on in college and told stories about high school.

The Dishwasher Who Knew Too Much

          Since I went to bed at an early midnight, I woke up naturally at 5 a.m. I'm not really sure why this happened, but maybe my body is learning to deal with my irregular sleep patterns. I skipped going back to bed in favor of relaxing and playing Fate on the computer, as I was trying to do last night before my father accosted me. This week's dishwashing shift started out unexpectedly, with Chef's son Jonah coming in to help me for a couple hours. "Help" is a subjective term here, since Jonah is about ten years old and I kept finding him underfoot. At one point, I discovered a container in the walk-in freezer labeled "Staff Infection," which was an enjoyable moment in an otherwise deplorable day. After work, Brian and Josh came to pick me up, and we finished up the last three installments of season four of The Sopranos, which concluded with a rather disappointing finale. I think this can be explained by the fact that the "major end-of-season character death" had already gone down a couple of episodes earlier, though.
          Quotes of the day:
"We were talking about how nice your hair looks." - Ray
"Sorry ladies, I'm taken." - Jonah

Misplaced Anger

          I woke up to a beautiful rainstorm this morning, and was very pleased. I was less satisfied when I went to work and discovered that I've been scheduled for at least six shifts in a row next week, culminating in a dreaded Sunday dishwashing shift and possibly extending into next week if I'm on Monday. The night was busy, and when I went home and attempted to relax with some computer games, my father launched into a foamy-mouthed rant about how computers are the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone. It got to the point where I couldn't take any more shouting in my ear about shit I don't care about that I just went upstairs and fell asleep rather than think any more. All in all, a pretty awful day.

More Cultured Every Day

          Tonight was one of those uncomfortable shifts where I found work to be rather busy, but time still dragged all evening. My aunt and uncle from Kingston also stopped in for dinner and occupied me for a few minutes. After work, I ate my first-ever portion of lo mein while Brian and I watched up through episode ten of The Sopranos, season 4. I always have the urge to describe events in the show and give my own view on them, but I don't want to spoil anything for those who might watch it in the future.

Raging Out

          Today, Shanti and I made plans to attend Summer Slaughter, a metal concert in Clifton Park that we went to a couple of years ago. First, we obtained a jug of drinking water and a container of black-and-white cookies at Price Chopper, where we ran into Saugerties' other Shanti. On the highway, a terrible storm raged around us. On several occasions, the lightning struck directly ahead of us so that we had a dramatic view of the storm. ("What if they're rocking so hard that they've summoned a thunderstorm?") We also came across a couple of pleasing vanity plates: VROOM and GUNNER. Naturally, when we arrived I realized I'd forgotten my ID, since I'm not in the habit of carrying my wallet. This completely sucked, so I took a nap and read some Game of Thrones while Shanti enjoyed the concert. Post-concert, Shanti joined me in the car for some thoughtful musical discussion, resulting in a craving for Guster and orange juice. Soon after, we were approached by a local concertgoer named Ryan, with whom we relaxed in the car for a while. On the way home, Shanti and I listened to sleepy electronic music and discussed how the main Spongebob characters represent the deadly sins (Google it!)
          Quotes of the day:
"Fuck yeah, all wheel drive!" - Shanti
"You're gonna want to wriggle around on the ground like a worm." - Shanti
"Fuck you. Fuck. You. Yeah, you're really getting somewhere, 1 car ahead. Die in a maggot-filled dog asshole." - Shanti, alarmingly close to road rage
"They're like this big ball of assholes, shitting wherever it goes." - Shanti
"He was born to be famous. You can't be born with a name like Zappa and not be famous." - Shanti
"That was some angry fuckin' sugar!" - Shanti

Consumerist Scum

          Matt, Logan, Katharine and I journeyed to Kingston to hang out at the mall. There, we got some wonderful smoothies, I purchased Skyrim at Target and a Norah Jones album at Best Buy, and we ran into April. Gamestop displayed an impressively underwhelming variety of PC games. At the end of the night, Matt lent me Fate and Torchlight, and Logan let me borrow six volumes of Marvel Ultimates comics. I'm set for entertainment for a while.
          Quotes of the day:
"We'll start you out with a timeless classic: 2 Girls 1 Cup, getcha hooked." - Logan
...
Me: "At band camp, I stuck a flute in my vagina."
Matt: "Wait, are you joking?"

A Game of Lipids

          Last night, I had a bad nightmare in which Iris was kidnapped by some rapists. I was contemplating what to do and woke up feeling very unsettled. Our ancient modem has been plagued with problems, irritating everyone and putting pressure on me to figure out the issue. Work, at least, was peaceful. Brian and I obtained a large amount of food from McDonalds, watched four episodes of The Sopranos, and viewed Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. Though not quite as brilliant as its predecessor, this second Holmes film is certainly a worthy installment and full of those clever little surprises hidden in the details.
          Quote of the day:
"Are you over 18?...You've got some ass on you." - Ray
"We are so fat dude, I have never got 2 bags." - Brian

Honey Mustard As Disaster Barometer

          Returning home from Logan's, I settled into the three volumes of Batman & Robin issues he left me. They made for a superb read; though Damian Wayne is whiny bitch, Professor Pyg (as in Pygmalion) is the creepiest Batman villain I've ever seen. Brian and I went for a drive into Kingston, where we obtained Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, season four of The Sopranos, and a Game of Thrones poster at FYE. Nicole and Josh joined us in the garage for a bit of Sopranos and a great deal more of work-related gossip.
          Random topic of the day:
A thought: Wouldn't it be odd if you knew where you were going to die, but not how or when? If it was an unusual location, you would know going in that your number was up. If it was someplace common, your kitchen for instance, the knowledge that your life could end there would always weigh heavily on your mind. That location would become, in essence, "the last place."
          Quote of the day:
"Horus is more interesting than Jesus because he has a bird head." - Matt
"I hate when the honey mustard's overflowing. It's like everything is going wrong." - Josh
"Her butt is literally a shelf. I could put the sauces on there." - Josh
"These god damn mofuckaaaas. They woulda been robbin' me." - Brian

Surprise Wheelchair Attack

          With some reluctance, I agreed to work a dishwashing shift at the Red Onion each Sunday to give Pedro some time off. Today's started with me being locked out in the rain for 20 minutes because no one told me there was a hidden key. The restaurant was dead all evening, but I still took until midnight to finish all of my duties, something I always hated about that job. Matt and Logan picked me up, the latter jumping me in the darkness outside my house and causing me to spill Pepsi all over my face. After stopping at Hess for subsistence fat (donuts), we spent a lot of time just discussing various topics. Example: Is it true that being elected Senator grants you deadly mind powers? I fell asleep after reading Dark Victory, a spectacular Batman comic and sequel to Long Halloween.
          Quotes of the day:
"Sweatin' my fuckin' nutbag off..." - Chef
"I don't get how you can be chubby...and a vegan...and a yoga instructor." - Bart
"Fuckin' scoop it up and give it to the staff tomorrow." - Chris, re: some fallen mashed potatoes
"Where were the other drugs going?" - Logan

No Squibs Allowed

          At work, I saw a young British boy reading what appeared to be Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and overheard an unfamiliar girl talking about an old friend. Beyond these, I had a pretty nondescript day.
          Quotes of the day:
"Emotionless is not a word." - Customer J
"No scrubs allowed, let's do this." - TF2 player attempting to rally team via mic

The Tony Soprano Infidelity Show

          I found myself at work at an early 4:00 today, after a shipment of new chairs came in and all the old ones had to be moved around. It was somewhat busy during our actual hours, and I ran into my ninth grade math teacher, who probably hates my guts. After work, Brian and I watched episodes 11 and 12 of season 3 of The Sopranos. We desperately need to acquire the next three seasons. We ate some wildly good Asian candies given to me by Iris (Hi-Chews are so good, we may mail order them) and I watched The Naked Gun, a remarkably okay comedy. Though it shows signs of its age, it's commendably witty from time to time and certainly superior to many present-day comedies (cough, Bridesmaids.)

TV Breakfast

          After waking up long enough to want to watch more Sopranos, Brian and I got through episode 10 of the third season. At work, I found myself rather woozy and couldn't shake a tired, light-headed sort of feeling. It was worth it between the quality television and some incredible cinnamon rolls, but I'd prefer not to repeat the experience of feeling brain-dead in front of employers who I already find a bit intimidating.

Gazelle Impressions

          Iris left at 9:30 this morning from the Kingston bus stop. We'll see each other in a month and a day. An hour or two later, Anthony arrived with his father, sister Lexie and her boyfriend Kamelle. We trekked up to the Kaaterskill Falls, a gorgeous series of falls about twenty minutes from my place. After we took some photographs at the bottom of the falls, a rocky, shallow pool, Anthony and I climbed up to the next level of the falls. There, we found a calm pool of blue-green water and a soothing spray coming off the waterfall, and I took a moment to stand in it and cool off. Lexie busted a toe on a falling boulder after she and Kamelle attempted a needlessly difficult path to the second level, so we led them back up. The entire trip, I was kicking myself for driving past the spot a thousand times and never bothering to stop and see the falls.
          I had to work at 5:30, but the night was particularly slow and I got out by ten after 8. Taking advantage of this, Brian and I went over to Josh's, where we played Manhunt with Summer and two of her younger friends. It's been a long time since I played a good round of the game. I can be plenty sneaky and can outrun most people, but I'm not very effective as a manhunter, since my usefulness largely rests on someone else flushing out the hiders so I can run them down before they reach the base. Aside: "hunt" is a strange word. After Summer and the other girls left, Josh, Brian and I hung out in the basement and talked over the summer and the state of affairs at home. On the way out, Josh gave me a drink called a Crystal Ice. Tasting it unleashed a torrent of memories; back in 9th and 10th grade, I always bought those drinks at the snack bar at school. I'd entirely forgotten about it until now, a strange feeling for someone who neurotically attempts to remember most things. Afterward, Brian and I watched some more episodes of The Sopranos back at the garage and discussed the mystery of facial hair.
          Quotes of the day:
"We press on!" - Anthony
"...Brittney Minaj..." - Brittney
"Why does it only grow on certain parts of your face? Like, why do you have eyebrows?" - Brian