Synergistic Projectile Divergence

          My first day of work was a challenge, and I constantly cribbed off the notes left by the previosu two co-ops. There's a binder of instructions that's essentially my bible, with mnemonics for remembering things like the attorneys' names and what floor each printer is on. For now, I'm clinging very tightly to a stiff schedule; thankfully, I'm receiving plenty of guidance from the paralegals and my supervisors as I get used to my myriad duties. The day passed without incident, I met most of the office, and things are looking up for tomorrow.
          Quotes of the day:
"In one of the cubicles at the lab where I'm working, there's a whiteboard that just has one thing written on it. It says 'synergy.'" - Sean
"The Greens Goblin. That's what my dealer calls himself." - me

Falco Was His Name-O

          We left early for Boston, and my goodbyes were brief. Ryan was sleeping like a log, so I just gave up on talking to him and hoofed it. I slept on the drive out. When I reached the apartment, I found Nathan's stuff all over the place -- apparently something happened with the movers and we're storing a lot of it for him. Eric, Meredith and Iris came to hang out with Alaric and me, so we watched more of the Ex-Men, spoiled ourselves with bad habits, and watched Amazing Spider-Man. We went for a nighttime walk and traveled some distance on Tremont (past the Prudential, at least) and returned for Super Smash Bros.
          Quotes of the day:
"Crabs on your back! Crabs on your back!" - Iris
"'And Bingo was his name-o. AND YOUR FAMILY.' That's how the fucking song goes." - Alaric
"I'll fall asleep if we watch a movie." - Iris
"I was on top of it for like three seconds. And it felt like a million years as I watched you walk over and take it." - Alaric, re: my cross-screen Maxim tomato steal in SSBM
"If dick isn't involved, they don't know what to do." - Eric
"I don't want the limit to be pain, I want it to be my willpower." - Meredith
...
Me: "It begins."
Alaric: "It's in full steam for me. Do you see this shit? Stoney Baloney is back, and he's better than ever!"

Boys In Blue

          The weather was excellent for Ian's graduation: warm, clear and sunny, no problems. (I recall that mine was on a blisteringly hot afternoon that broke into a torrential downpour immediately after the ceremony.) I bumped into Isiah, Katharine, a very bearded Seth, and even VDP! This was followed by a "graduation party" that was just our extended family and some family friends, and I napped in a chair on the deck while listening to people talk. Later, Logan and I played a tight game of clix in which he pulled out a last-minute victory. We also watched a series of fantastic videos called "Ex-Men", in which Professor X fires different X-Men for sucking. (The best, however, is that featuring Magneto. "What you fail to realize is that 'neato' is in there. 'Mag-neato.' People like that.")

"I'm not even breaking a sweat!"

          For most of the day, I was either trying to sort out the hoard of junk filling our home (again) or playing Soul Calibur III with Ian. Highlights: Spamming Kilik; spamming taunt commands; realizing that I lost my edge at this game; continuing to spam Kilik.
          Quote of the day:
"That attack is unblockable! How do you block an unblockable attack?!" - Ian

Along Came a Spider

          Logan came over to hang out, play Soul Calibur III (and roundly defeat me nearly every time), and eat frozen pizza. We created custom characters in SC3: a hideous, piecemeal atrocity dubbed "THADURTYSLOG" for me, and an all-magenta ninja named "TONY DANZA" for Logan. Later on, I had a nearly spiritual experience in which I rescued a firefly from a spider. I noticed its flash in the window and went outside to see it, and found it struggling in a web. The spider was actually descending toward it, and I swatted it off its thread and through a gap in the deck. I don't know what motivated me to do that, but all I could think about afterward was how I nearly saw something so beautiful consumed by something so ugly.

On a Roll

          Judy and Steve treated me to dinner at a place called Kyoto Sushi; we enjoyed a nice, political discussion, ate our fill, and I developed a real taste for the Philadelphia roll. A thunderstorm rolled in on our way back, which was just wonderful. Boston has its own special brand of weathah, but it is permanently lacking in this area. I blew my evening helping Ian organize his room and prodding him to throw out a seemingly endless quantity of college letters. (He kept everything - why?)

Essence of Springfield

          I packed my things to go home and was naturally late for my bus at South Station. I'd forgotten to account for the idiocy of walking all the way through the station and down the commuter rail platform to reach the bus terminal. I switched buses for $10 -- thank goodness it wasn't more -- patiently waited for an hour and a half, and finally caught my ride to Springfield. I was seated behind a pair of Mennonites or something on the bus, which held my attention for a little while before I drifted into that "long trip doing nothing but listening to music" trance. Ian and my mother picked me up at the Springfield station, and we were headed home. Not long after we arrived, I was on my swing again and this, at least, was good.

Aftermathematics

          I woke up on the couch, still surrounded by papers, still not quite finished with my own. I more or less completed it and submitted, then flew into a cleaning frenzy unmatched in anger or intensity, before or since. (As if I hadn't already experienced enough anti-fun this weekend, I was left to clean up the giant mess on my own.) After this, I was done with responsibility. I destroyed the remainder of the brownies from Julia's party, smoked, and watched American Gangster. This was a fine respite, but I found myself burnt out from the weekend and still unpacked for tomorrow's trip home.

Tap-Tap-Clunk

          The entirety of my day was spent panicking about my PPA paper. I posted up on the couch amidst last night's mess and worked all day and night.

Holy Spirits

          There's a lot I could say about Alaric and Sean's birthday party. Here are some snapshots: People dressed as animals. A fantastic "Let's Get Weird" layer cake with marzipan by Sara. A lot of drinking. David giving us a full set of drink-mixing gear. Alaric writing the fucking book on how not to do it by going drunkenly ripsticking, smashing his forehead on a brick, and refusing medical attention. He needs to stop with this "get dangerous, get angry when called on it" horseshit, stat. The rest of my night was spent worrying about his probable concussion and the open gash above his eyebrow, so all in all, there is a bitter taste in my mouth. At least a bunch of people made it into the city to say hello and check in.
          Quote of the day:
"It's made for kids with cute little button noses, and not for Jews!" - Cyber Dave, re: his uncomfortable fake puppy nose

Under Every Stone

          I shared lunch with Iris at Symphony Sushi, an eatery which never fails to satisfy, though I did almost choke on an unrolled piece of seaweed. I then headed down to the financial district for three hours of training at Rich May. The current co-op walked me through my numerous and disparate duties, which include but are not limited to: doing inventory and stocking the kitchen/kitchenette/file room; keeping the copiers and printers running; watering the plants; working the reception desk for a few shifts every day; preparing postage for everyone; updating the law library with new materials (naturally); bank runs; changing the backup tape every day and keeping an eye on the condition of the servers; time entry for two of the attorneys; picking up lunch for Walter, an older attorney; checking for conflicts of interest; typing up abstracts of cases from the personal notes of Harold, a 91-year-old lawyer who is the second oldest still practicing in Massachusetts; filing a biweekly chess column for the Boston Globe written by Harold and his friend & driver Chris; cost entry; hand delivery of documents; walking Harold and Walter to Chris's car at the end of the day; hailing taxis for Walter if Harold is out for the day; and any other task that someone sees fit to give me. The work is heavily administrative, but I hope that the company culture makes it worth it.
          After training, I walked all over creation to try and find elements of a hyena costume for Alaric and Sean's spirit animal birthday party. I walked from Rich May, which is directly across from South Station, all the way to Party City near Copley, but somehow they had nothing remotely approaching fake fur. On the recommendation of one of the clerks, I headed back downtown to New Millennium Costumes by the Common, but this turned out to be one of those rental-type costume shops where crappy prefab outfits cost upward of $100 each. Finally, I made a last-ditch attempt by trekking to the Closet on Newbury Street, a "thrift" store where everything is normal store price. I found a coat with fur lining that would have been perfect to cut up, but it was going for $1000; I also resisted buying a signed Jordan Caron/Bruins jersey for $100. The real party comes tomorrow, but tonight -- Alaric's actual birthday -- required a bit of festivity as well. His friend Dave came up from home, Alaric baked an attempt at a strawberry shortcake that was basically a pile of dough, and Iris & Cristina came to get slizzy. I got mildly drunk and played some TF2.

All About the Benjamins

          I had a very productive morning. After considerable dallying, I went grocery shopping around 6 a.m. This was nice, because the city was still relatively quiet and the store was just about empty. I used the coin machine to redeem a coffee can full of change that I've been saving since 7th grade; after the 10% deduction, I scored $206.56, plus another $3.10 from some cans I returned. Benjamin Franklin is smiling down on me, wherever he is. I carried my groceries home and dropped everything to take an 8 a.m. birthday shot with Alaric and Sean, the birthday boy. Next, I picked up a refund check for the Bandquet expenses at SABO in Curry, and printed some study notes there as well. I put in my time at PPA, then went to the CEP office to ask them to count some hours that I'd neglected to log. I girded myself for a fight, but the CEP assistant was quite willing to add them in, and it looks like I'm in the home stretch of the annual volunteering scramble. Finally, I hit Snell to study with seven or eight other souls before the impending Religion & Politics final.
          Quotes of the day:
"You don't just drop it on them. You don't just say, 'Professor Curran at BU Law School is an expert on this and he has a great code of conduct.'" - Prof. Dukakis, picking on me for some reason
"What's the moral of this story? Pay attention to your spouse, folks!" - Prof. Dukakis
"I still don't get how they produced a hot child." - Deb
"It's a question of flavor." - Prof. Miles, re: apartheid
"Is there a veil of blindness so great that it prevents us from seeing true evil?" - Prof. Miles
...
Mike M: "He has kids all over the world."
Me: "My African kid problem."

Vault 101

          I went through scores of the albums I found to figure out which ones to keep, shuffled them around, and generally reorganized. I then slept and missed the R&P study group, which is okay -- I'm confident in my abilities with respect to that course, but I was looking forward to chilling with my classmates. Once I woke, I played Fallout 3 and goofed off.

In This Part of Africa...

          At the beginning of R&P, a dusky young man in traditional African garb entered the class and sat to the side. Prof. Miles said that something had come up and that he had to stop teaching at Northeastern after this summer. He then deferred to the man, now introduced as Professor Samaila. This guy seemed hip enough, and gave a brief and articulate discourse on Sufism in Senegal. Everyone listened intently. Prof. Miles eventually spoke up again ("I have not been entirely honest with you...") to say that he was not leaving Northeastern, that "Professor Samaila" is a pseudonym for the coauthor of one of Miles' books, My African Horse Problem -- read: his son, Samuel -- and that they haven't seen each other for 8 months. These two jokers completely suckered about twenty-five people with improv. I wasn't the only one who found it hilarious, but we all felt lied to for sure. After class, I skipped PBP to sleep until midnight.
          Quotes of the day:
"You don't hear about violence in Senegal. We're chill like that." - "Professor Samaila"
"Academic dishonor." - girl in R&P
"I was delirious when I got home. I got Downs Syndrome for like an hour." - Mike M
...
Prof. Miles: "He was too small to hike the whole way, starting at 4 a.m., so we put him in a saddlebag."
Samuel: "No. You said walk and we decided we were going in the saddlebags."
Prof. Miles: "Revisionist history."

A Herd of Wild Animals

          I had a lucid dream about a tank built from Legos (yes, I know, "LEGO") and was briefly aware of my own sleeping body before waking. I came to with Sean shaking me -- props to sleepy Andy for thinking to leave a "please kick me awake" note on the mirror. PPA was whatever, but at least I made it to class. Afterward, I was in the door and back into bed. I then dreamed of exploring an abandoned factory with Jared, Iris, Rachelle, John B, and Malcolm. Everyone was busy rummaging through dusty cabinets for minor loot; I found some interesting hand tools and industrial work clothing. Even so, I kept wondering why the lights were on in a place that had been shuttered for at least ten or fifteen years. There was a sound of footsteps, everyone froze, and I quietly tipped the door shut. Moments later, a young guy entered the room, gave us a brief and dismissive look, and walked to a clipboard in the corner. He wrote an entry on some list, then left as quickly as he'd come. We all shared a look, then went to a window to see him drive off. "Let's get out of here before John Q. Public decides to call the police," I suggested, but right on cue, two cruisers drove up to the factory. I figured that I was an idiot for not thinking of silent alarms, and with no options left we decided to play it as cool as possible. Everyone was out the door and headed for the street by the time the cops rounded the corner, and they stalked right past us on their way into the building. Jared and I laughed and marveled at this escape as we headed up the sidewalk. The sun was sinking in the sky and everything had turned out okay.

Daddy-O

          Father's Day at Fenway was understandably riotous. The pep band hammed even harder than yesterday, taking mid-song selfies with the audience and just rocking and rolling. This was, as they say, the real shit. I suffered pangs of guilt after my third Tasty Burger trip in as many days, but it was fun sitting with the dynamic group of Jared, Alaric, Ariel and JL -- a perfect mix of disparate, yet overlapping senses of humor. While there, I was notified that a Rangers fan twitter called Blueshirt Haus selected my playoff beard as the contest winner, so I'm getting a free shirt from them! I was tired after lunch (and kind of burnt out on baseball for the weekend) so Ryan came home with me and bought about sixty of the albums I found out back. When he left, I called my father to discuss how things are going at home, my grandfather's health, and so on (as well as wishing him a happy Father's Day, of course.) I played Saints Row 3 for some time before going to Jared's with Iris for a great season 4 finale to Game of Thrones. It does contain some minor book five spoilers since A Feast For Crows and A Dance With Dragons occur at the same time; also, a death that was magnificent in the book is rendered as merely great in the show thanks to a missed dialogue opportunity. I was too hyped after this to sleep, so I read a portion of the Sin City comics and relaxed.

We Want Scalps

          I was up early to apply warpaint and prepare for our first Yawkey performance of the weekend. We played some sweet tunes, photobombed, did the limbo under a couple of trombones (reigning limbo champ: yours truly), and had a great time. Prior to moving into Fenway itself, we made a run on Tasty Burger and enjoyed the heavily gangsta rap-themed playlist coming through the speakers. The baseball game was fun as well; Jules and I claimed a spot up in the standing room section and chatted about random stuff. I deflected ~30 questions about my personal life from a woman next to us who was clearly blitzed. ("Are you two a couple?" "Nah, just friends." "Is this the first time you've hung out?" How did she know that?!) A couple of World War 2 veterans were sitting near us and were recognized on the big screen, meaning that I had to clap and clap until I could be sure we weren't tangentially in the shot. The Indians scalped the Red Sox, 3-2, and I went home to take a victory nap.

Your Heroes Have Fallen

          The Rangers lost game 5 to the Kings, ending my hopes of a 20th-anniversary cup win. Highlight: Brian Boyle crossing up Doughty and sniping Quick for a shorthanded goal. ("He shouldn't have been able to do that!") I left Peter's, went home and downed three shots in a row, but my crummy luck prevented me from effectively getting drunk. Sean kept me company and we tried to play a drinking game to Jet Li's Hero; while an entertaining film to be sure, it has very few discrete events and is therefore totally unsuited for games. Hero strives against realism; it does away with physics and probability so quickly that the viewer is unconcerned with them. One is free to enjoy the majestically choreographed and oddly peaceful battle scenes, and the end result is something like an art film.

Hello darkness my old friend.

One King

          Professor Miles showed us photographs from his trip to Finland to promote his book (check it) and most of them were of him being a goofball in random locations. He gave a Tuukka Rask shirt to one of the organizers, took pictures with some Lutherans giving out free massages, and accidentally revealed that he's a Fulbright scholar. We discussed how postcolonialism and specifically the religious differences engendered by colonialism have impacted relations between modern-day countries, a topic I never gave any thought to. After class, I went to Blackman to rehearse with the others for our dual performances at Yawkey Way this weekend. Indians vs. Red Sox -- my homies vs. my hometown. It's gonna be a ball.
          At home, I went on a cleaning and organization kick. I rolled out a brown and tan carpet I'd salvaged from one of the trash rooms and set it up in the living room. It turns out that someone cut one of the edges off and did a really sloppy job of it, but I just slid that side under one of the couches. A flash of inspiration led me to clip my new lamp to the shelf by my bed, and it should serve ably as a reading light. Later on, I had a long conversation on the back step with Andrew from upstairs, discussing the charms of organized sports, beers and bars. Another nighttime run and Fallout 3 completed the evening.
          Quotes of the day:
"This chair is the cause of all our problems." - a guy in R&P, after a chair got in our way for the millionth time
"Quality of life improves tenfold." - the same guy, after I put the chair elsewhere in the room
"Modern Lutheran massage theology." - Prof. Miles
"I was able to out-NSA the Burmese secret police." - Prof. Miles

Avenging the Sharks

          The wifi in our apartment is still craptacular. I played lots of Fallout 3 today, and the Rangers won game 4 against the Kings, 2-1, to keep the series alive a little longer. I drank during and after this game and will probably remain drunk from now until we're dead we complete the reverse sweep.
          Quotes of the day:
"Why didn't Reagan invade Rhode Island instead of Grenada? It's too big." - Prof. Dukakis
"I remember walking down the streets of Havana with about 500 prostitutes chasing me." - Prof. Dukakis

Born Again

          I was mildly late to class again (R&P this time) but a movie was on and hardly anyone was there, including a conspicuously absent Prof. Miles. The movie, Romero, was a 1989 biopic about Venezuelan archbishop Oscar Romero; in between emotional manipulation and depressing violence, there was a glimmer here and there. Unfortunately, the film is from 1989 and really shows it; in the scene where the military massacres the protesters, the behavior of the extras is so poorly executed, it's uncanny. At least the movie got the point across: Can the clergy advocate violent revolution against oppression? In class, I'm preparing to argue that they can and should, in opposition to the movie's glorification of Romero's staunch refusal to take a side. Refusing to fight your would-be killers is not high-minded -- it's moronic at best, if not twisted.
          After class, the Delivery Man came, and then Becky came, and then Nathan, Tom, Lisa, Alaric, Julia, Sean, Iris, Peter, Johnny, and Matt S came pouring in the door for a massive board game night. Escape, Pandemic, Fluxx, and 7 Wonders were all played; I was pissed off because for me, at least one round of Revolution was the whole point and it was pushed off all evening. I took some solitary time to read And Then There Were None, a classic Agatha Christie mystery with a quick pace, interesting characters, and a beautiful ending. This put me sufficiently at ease to rejoin the group, which at this point consisted of Sean, Alaric, David and Julia. We told riddles and jokes until Dave finally laid down the law about getting some sleep, and my mood was vastly improved by the time I went to bed.

D'Spayre Walks

          I was somewhat late to the PPA midterm review, but arrived to find that I scored a solid B+. Prof. Dukakis also used this class to roll out his infamous revenue enforcement scheme; he claims that going after tax evaders would be an effective way to combat the deficit. An ancient (Dukakis-as-POTUS-contender era) issue of Time awarded this plan the superlative of "Most Dubious Proposal." After class, I played Fallout 3 and de-stressed before heading to Peter's. There, we played Super Smash Bros. 64 and watched game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final; or, in my case, most of it. Once the Rangers were down 3-0 in the 3rd, I packed up and left instead of suffering any more. At home, I fought with the wifi to no avail.
          Quotes of the day:
"I hear they're going to put up a big corporate sign on top of their building. Your instructor is gonna see what the state legislature can do to put a stop to that." - Prof. Dukakis in "Governor Mode"
"Florio said, 'They're not gonna do to me what they did to Dukakis.' Quote, unquote." - Prof. Dukakis

Shit Is Wack At Castle Black

          I wasted my day with TF2, Super Crate Box, and Fallout 3 until late in the afternoon. Iris and I went to Jared's for the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones, in which [see title.] Ser Alliser Thorne was fantastic in this episode (read: tolerable); Jon Snow continued to know nothing; and wildlings were wildlings. Iris, Elliott and I shared leftover cake from Julia and Jennifer's party as well. I followed a post-episode conversation with Iris with a dramatic failure of an all-nighter, falling asleep practically immediately.

.  .  .

Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.

Twisting the Knife

          At another Phons party, I watched the Rangers drop a 4-2 lead for a 5-4 double-overtime loss to the LA Kings, who now lead the final series 2-0. They also have not had a lead in goals since the series began. My confidence in New York's ability to win this series, not great to begin with, is diminishing.

No Pun Intended

          I had another dream that turned lucid near the end, and I can't get enough of these. I was at a house out in the country with an angry Sam and a girl named Nicole from high school. Her boyfriend appeared and we went outside to pick up scores of lighters off the ground, explore parts of the house that weren't finished, and say hello to my uncle Cale and our family friend Hubby. A family reunion was in full swing, but I was disinterested in this. I headed back inside and was confronted by the boyfriend, who was irrationally enraged. He went for a gun in a drawer; I was faster and swatted him with some kind of electrified metal screen. The guy exploded, a lone piece of brain falling on to a nearby car. At this point, police and Mounties showed up to get things under control, but the sudden appearance of Anne-Marie and at least fifteen Habs fans in full regalia made the situation ludicrous. I walked to a bus stop with some people, including a homeless girl from PBP; she and I hung back while everyone else walked into a dimly lit town nearby. We were joined by Haley and another person, and walked into a modern train station, partially open to the air, with cold white lighting and expressionless commuters. I tried to remember how we had ended up there and realized that I was lucid. I leaped up to fly and comically fell back on to the station floor. Failing that, I swung like a monkey along the edge of the platform, free of fear; Alaric, acting as a sort of lucid extension of myself, ruffled the hair of random dream-strangers to see if they would react. I woke shortly thereafter, feeling exhilarated.
          With Iris and Alaric's assistance, I cooked a special blend of brownies for Julia and Jennifer's joint birthday party. The process was long, resource-intensive and somewhat messy, but it seemed to work out. The party itself was interesting; I had fun with Regina, Julia and Jennifer, but two groups of people were basically segregated for the entire time and thus interaction was limited. At some point, several of us (Peter, Matt S, Johnny, Regina, birthday girl Julia, and myself) moved into Julia's room and played Bop It for over an hour. A vast array of baked goods kept us satisfied throughout the party and sustained us on the way home.
          Quotes of the day:
"It doesn't really care for you as a person." - Alaric, re: silver rum
"Can Julia ever be beat? She's in the zone!" - Peter

Heavy Rain

          A chaotic rain was falling when I left for class, and construction workers were tearing up Coventry Street. Meredith and I went to PBP together again, and the place was quiet as a library. We sat at a table, packaged up "We the People" legal primers, and enjoyed a fine conversation. When I got home, Sean passed me a letter from Katie; I'd been counting on something like that.

          Quotes of the day:
"Extremism is created in desperate countries, in desperate societies, desperate – I'll be specific here – young men.” - Prof. Miles, re: U.S. aid to the West Bank
"We're using, for the first time, what is called soft power. We're all familiar with hard power." - Prof. Miles
"John Paul II was an equal opportunity ideology basher." - Prof. Miles
"Mussolini was basically a Soprano Catholic." - Prof. Miles
"There's Putin, there's the Pope, and there's Pussy Riot." - Prof. Miles
"That is not communism. That is capitalism, channeled." - Prof. Miles re: "Hrm. Switching to Geico could save you..."
"Ooh, the glass is in the other foot now." - Alaric

JL's Laws of Power

          I slept from 11 to 7 like a normal person and felt really great when I rolled out of bed. This week has been paper hell: the PPA midterm on Monday, the clergy paper on Tuesday, the PPA case question for Tuesday as well (the schedule for which was thrown off, and now they're due at times and days when R&P is in session), and an R&P position paper and draft final for PPA both due tomorrow. After class, there was a long council meeting. JL outlined a lot of the changes he wants or expects to see next year, and also talked about how he wants to hand over the reins of power to the students again. I felt like he was talking directly to me on the last point, since 1) I'm a rabble-rouser in pep band, and 2) he knows I resented some of the changes that came about during my freshman year.
          In the evening, Alaric and I went to West G to hang out with LJL (along with Rawan, Sarah and Elise, some of my classmates) and watched the Kings beat the Rangers in OT, 3-2. The win came on the back of the worst turnover ever, courtesy of Dan Girardi; Justin Williams picked up the loose change and I was already saying "not like this" by the time he scored. I went over to Peter's to join him, Johnny and Wyatt for a meeting of the generals. After several rounds of Super Smash Bros. 64 and Brawl -- I still can't decide which is worse... -- I headed home to watch Sean play FTL and rest my eyes.
          Quotes of the day:
"The Pittsfield mayor goes bananas. You know Pittsfield supplies water to Lenox. He calls me and says, 'We'll cut off the water.' This is worse than the Tampa Bay pitcher hitting David Ortiz." - Prof. Dukakis
"We could do half Friday, half Saturday, and everyone Sunday, blow out Cabot." - JL
"Someone's chops die, the next person takes over. It's like the Russians in World War 2." - Nathan
"There probably would've been advocacy groups after us for playing Blurred Lines." - Brendan
"When we used to do parades, it was basically a scam to siphon money from the department." - JL
"Abstaining from sex for fear of blood does not make you a good guy!" - Sabrina

Crusades Vol. 2

          I took a short break from my R&P paper to do the PPA reading, then returned to it. I was among the best in show in terms of R&P midterm grades, which we reviewed today. Prof. Miles had us go through the multiple choice answers in an amusing "running the gauntlet" style, with one person answering questions until they got it wrong, then passing the torch. I played the The Price Is Right loser horn a few times, and most of the class was lighthearted. Afterward, I went to PBP with Meredith, where we had a few political arguments and discussed television shows and podcasts.
          Quotes of the day:
"They were making cars that were not falling apart, and beating our brains in!" - Prof. Dukakis
"We should do the Crusades again." - Prof. Miles
"I'm about to do 1000 years of history in 13 minutes. Time it." - Prof. Miles
"They said, 'We're the true Catholics and we're going to prove it by conquering -- reconquering the Holy Land.' And they failed, the first couple of times. Miserably, the first two." - Prof. Miles
"So, the notion of genocide is really a European artifact." - Prof. Miles, re: the St. Bartholomew's Day massacre of 100,000 Protestants
"Now, I've got 3 minutes to do another half century, and I'll do it! I'll do it!"- Prof. Miles
"Genericface McFourthliner." - me
...
Julianne H: "So when it comes to invoking the authors...?"
Prof. Miles: "Rowe. Just Rowe. Rowe, Rowe, Rowe your position paper."

No Rest For the Wicked

          My midterm paper on teen pregnancy was crappy by my standards, but I submitted it with no regrets. After volunteering for about an hour at the CEP office (labeling envelopes -- fascinating stuff), I got on the horn with Father Bill. (Aside for people who were never Catholic: Bill is his first name.) He was very accommodating and happy to speak with me, and our interview was relatively short, running for about thirty minutes. As the theopolitical spectrum goes, his opinions were not the most fascinating; he cleft to standard, moderate Roman Catholic teaching very closely. (Note: I'm giving the highlights here.) Interestingly, Father Bill did bring up something akin to the Protestant work ethic, placing him more to the right; however, he also argued that justice and peace are the two most important ideals for society to pursue, which is a more theopolitically liberal viewpoint. [R&P centers around the concept of this spectrum, which inextricably links politics and religion and does a fine job of explaining many religiously fueled events. There are many different measures, but an important one is the differing emphases on "soulism" or personal salvation (right) as opposed to social justice and good works (left).] He also thinks that religion should be more entwined with politics, which is disconcerting; I do not agree with his assessment that the United States is a "Judeo-Christian" nation.
          The juicy stuff came at the end of the interview. Father Bill's answers to my questions on economics were also intriguing, in that they went from an intellectual 0 to 60 in about three seconds. I asked where evil originates in an economic system, and he promptly answered that the Devil is the origin of all wickedness. I then asked whether any economic system is inherently unjust, to which he replied that it's dependent on whether people are being abused by that system or given a "fair shake" (there's that Protestant work ethic again!) He also showed off the classic rip in the Seamless Garment, saying that abortion and physician-assisted suicide are categorically murder, but that the death penalty can be applied under very limited circumstances. Also: "Homosexuality is neither right nor wrong, but acting on it is immoral. Unfortunately, the world we live in does not make this distinction." I obviously don't share his perspective, but at least this is a more moderate stance than might be expected from a Roman Catholic priest. All in all, I was quite happy with the way the interview turned out; in any case, it was a tremendous weight off my shoulders. Now all that's left is to actually write the paper, which should be cake. I slept from 4 to 10, then got down to work on the essay.

Flyentology

          I may have neglected to write that I'm in full panic mode regarding my clergy interview assignment for R&P, which sneaked up on me very quickly. [Note: That last sentence didn't sound grammatically correct, so I ended up at http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/snuck-vs-sneaked to clear it up. I'm typically an adherent of "snuck", but will settle for what's more pleasant to the ear eye inner ear god dammit!] After a great deal of waffling and internal debate over which church services would be most efficient to attend, I decided to go to St. Cecilia's, a Roman Catholic church near Berklee.
          This church is tucked away on a side street, but "tucked" may give a false impression of its appearance. It's large and majestic with high, vaulted ceilings and pillars. The organ is bone-shaking, just as it should be. When I walked in, my first thought was that I chose the wrong congregation -- the place was packed with worshippers. Today is the seventh Sunday of Easter, so it's prime church season. I took a seat in the back and braced myself for the lengthy service, and did my best to get all the steps right. ("Peace be with you!" "And also with you!" are words that have not crossed my mind in years.) The Vatican has apparently changed some of the call-and-answer-type rites since I left, so I felt lost at times, but other parts of the Mass were very familiar. Throughout, I couldn't help but feel like a fox in the henhouse, as if my mere presence could damage the experience of the faithful. There was also a baptism, and as everyone watched and crooned over the infant, all I could think of was the baptism motif in The Godfather. Also, I'm now a secret heretic in the background of this baby's baptism photos, which is a little uncomfortable. The choir was far and away the best part of the Mass -- just incredible. The priest himself was young, relatable, and easy-speaking; his sermon was well reasoned and well delivered, but I still had trouble staying awake.
          At one point, I stepped out to take a call from my father, who let me know that Father Bill (at St. John the Evangelist, my family's church) was expecting my call. I'm glad I hedged my bets; even though I'm not technically allowed to do a phone interview, the odds of getting a sit-down with this priest were not promising. I waited around to speak to the priest after Mass, and stood in a long line of well-wishers and congregants before I finally got to him. He declined the interview with sincere regret, explaining that this was the worst possible week because he was helping his mother move. (Unless he's just a really skilled liar, which is a possibility I'd prefer not to think about.) I headed out feeling bummed, and smelled candles all the way home.
          I got in touch with Father Bill, who generously agreed to speak with me tomorrow. Iris and I watched one of the most depressing Game of Thrones episodes yet, which was made no less ugly by my foreknowledge of what was to come. Iris had no such warning and was accordingly crushed by the end. Luckily, this cryfest was followed by the Kings' overtime victory against the Blackhawks in the Western Conference finals, which we met with much jubilation. I then dove into a writing frenzy to hammer out a memo for the PPA midterm.