Allstar Booze Bags

          I slogged through a drowsy morning, and fell asleep while trying to work after class. Alaric and I designated the evening for hockey, and we were witness to the full spectrum of outcomes. There was a glorious victory (Wild 3, Kings 2); an okay victory (Senators 2, Hurricanes 1 in the shootout); a near miss (Jets 4, Ducks 5 in OT); and a disappointment (Panthers 3, Devils 6). Later, I turned in my storytelling analysis for AWPL, way behind schedule.
          Quote of the day:
"Most of what we do is (a) abstract, or (b) super duper abstract." - Prof. Beauchamp

Saligia

          I spent nearly all of the day playing Papers, Please with Iris and Alaric. As it turns out, playing as a team is far easier than trying to process all the information alone. More time was burned on Super Smash Bros. with Alaric, Katie and Sean. I slipped into another easy all-nighter, finishing yesterday's leftovers and working on my room.
          Quotes of the day:
"Does your browser have drugs enabled?" - Sean
"If you eat all the M&Ms, you will not, in fact, have any M&Ms left." - Sean, dropping science

"It was a dark and stormy night."

          The council met for a low-key gathering to discuss the upcoming Bandquet, band awards, and other such matters. When we got out, Nathan, Alaric, Iris and I rolled over to Subway and Red Mango; we were surrounded by an entire high school robotics team or two, but eventually got our comfort food. In the evening, Julia, Regina, Alaric and I smoked, then decided that the pumpkin finally had to go. I've had this pumpkin in my room since November or so, and aside from some gross wrinkles and slight softening, it has been preserved remarkably well. Along with Nathan, we braved a heavy rain to get to the Columbus parking garage. We climbed to the top floor, lashed by the wind and rain, and moved to the edge of the roof. I gave it the fateful push, and the pumpkin fell five stories down. It bounced on the pavement. "No damage," I said incredulously. We rushed down to the parking lot and stood around the completely intact pumpkin. I punted it some distance, and it stayed impervious. Things were getting creepy at this point -- the pumpkin that just wouldn't die! We decided to abandon it there, and theorized about what sinister being could be inhabiting the pumpkin on the walk back. Perhaps we'll vanish one by one, or it will start growing human limbs, or it will just reappear in my room. Our last activity for the night was a sleepy screening of Djano Unchained, excellent as always.
          Quotes of the day:
"I need like three beers before we do this. Don't put that in the minutes!" - Jenn
"Go to bed without supper." - Alaric
"What are we gonna do, hire a contractor?" - me

Retweet If You're Feeling This

          My E. Science went passably well. Aside: The "cone of depression" is the drop in the water table around a well, but it should really be the name for the feeling of dropping your ice cream on a hot summer day. A meeting with my co-op counselor was reassuring, and she stressed that new jobs are coming up every day at this time of year. When the night fell, we converged on Peter and Ryan L's apartment on St. Stephen Street for #intimate #romantic, volume two. These guys are already old hands at throwing great parties in a cramped space, and the evening was a real ball of fun.

turn down for what?

Lucky Number 13: Part Two

          I slept in for my day off and had another dream about Vietnam. It started off innocuously enough: I was in front of a Barnes & Noble-type bookstore with Ryan L and Sabrina, and we were watching some randoms cosplaying as Pokemon for an indeterminate event. Everyone but me boarded a line of buses and left. I remained outside and found myself at my elementary school back home. Mr. Davis, my gym teacher for my first couple of years in school, was mowing the lawn out front. He didn't recognize me when I waved, but stopped to recount a story from his younger days. I found myself in his flashback, memories of soldiering in a platoon in Vietnam. With two other men, I cautiously approached a covered trailer in a jungle clearing. Six or seven Viet Cong regulars ran out of the woods, shooting as they advanced. One of my squadmates dropped immediately; the other fled. I covered behind a tree as one of the VC primed a grenade, but he fumbled it and it detonated in their midst. I came out from my hiding place and found bodies strewn all over the ground. I'd have to ensure that they were all dead, and wondered out loud at how to do so. A dying VC rasped, "Shut up! Watch. Wait. The truth is here." The scene dissolved to the sounds of moaning and flowing blood.
          Hockey fever reached new heights today, as I listened to the Bruins vs. Blackhawks game in the shower. Comcast stuck another knife in my ribs by working perfectly until immediately before the Bruins scored. I felt better when Boston scored again, 13 seconds later, when Crawford was caught out of net and knocked it off the posts while trying to leap back into position. Comcast knifed me again by cutting out right before the review call was made, but the score ended at 3-0 anyhow. I like to think that the Bruins won this one for those firefighters killed in Back Bay -- rest in peace. Iris came over to make corn muffins and smoothies, and Alaric joined us to listen to the Lightning vs. Islanders game. I hate the Islanders, but tonight I had their back for being the underdogs against a team I have little love for. The game went to an unbelievable 13-round shootout that Tampa Bay ultimately captured, but the hockey was so exciting that we didn't care. Iris and I had a long conversation, and I went for a fantastic 4 a.m. run to the Rent soundtrack. I felt unusually good throughout the run, and followed with an all nighter to cram for another Environmental Science "midterm."
          Quote of the day:
"I'm for blender rights. I don't use blenders that aren't equal treatment blenders. Farm-raised." - Sean

Divining Rod

          Way behind schedule (again), I registered for Summer 1 classes and got into the ones I wanted (again.) I'm taking State & Local Politics at 8 a.m. -- hopefully it's fascinating enough to justify the ungodly hour -- and Public Policy & Administration with former Massachusetts governor/presidential candidate Michael Dukakis, which I'm very excited for. I'm going to be learning about public policy from one of the masters! With registration taken care of, I turned my attention to how late I am in applying to co-ops and started panicking. I'm considering a trip to UHCS for counseling to deal with my chronic inability to do work until the last minute, but haven't decided on it yet.
          Iris hosted a hockey night at her apartment, and Jared, Alaric and I showed up for another crucial end-of-season duel. Peter, Sabrina and Becky arrived during the game as well. New York and Philadelphia are scrambling to solidify their positions in the Eastern Conference playoffs. The Rangers beat the cheesesteaks out of the Flyers in a 3-1 effort, and I headed home feeling much better. I then enjoyed TF2 until it crashed, and became very involved in a game of Civ IV until that game crashed as well. Life lesson: Save your game, kids.
          Quotes of the day:
"Right now it's just tea leaf reading about how many times Kennedy scratched his chin during the oral argument." - Prof. Beauchamp
"Most nominees died in committee, like everything else. Sorry." - Katarzyna

Sarajevo Nights

          Today, I discovered r/comeonandslam, a subreddit devoted entirely to mashups of the Space Jam theme. Budgeting & Taxation was the scene of a spirited debate on the merits of the welfare state, and political persuasions of all stripes came out to play. Every day, I appreciate Prof. Jimenez's talent for fostering respectful, on-topic argument. The deficit balancing issue is clear: taxes must be raised, or some entitlement programs need to be cut, or both, but certainly not neither. (The word "entitlement" is used here as a descriptor, not a value judgment.) The social element serves to muddy the waters: do other people deserve our money? Do welfare programs undercut the incentive to work? We ranged across these topics but reached no satisfying conclusions.
          In the evening, I joined Harrison for a lecture put on by a group called the Political Economy Forum. We met in the lecture hall under West F, meeting the Delivery Man and Harrison's friend Dave K as well. The speaker was former New York Times correspondent Chris Hedges; he walked out wearing jeans and a large "Palestinian fist" shirt. This is a man who jointly won the Pulitzer Prize for journalism, spent two decades as a foreign correspondent, and was Balkan Bureau Chief in Sarajevo during its bloody siege in the Bosnian War. As he put it: "We knew that if the Serbians got into the city, a third of its people would be massacred. The rest would go to camps." The lecture was titled, "The Myth of Progress & Illusion of Empire," and revolved around an apocalyptic vision for the future. Drawing on parallels to Moby-Dick, Hedges outlined what he sees as the coming doom of a consumerist world. Subjects covered in the following Q&A included the acidification of Earth's oceans, depletion of fossil fuels, the evils inherent in capitalism and the American healthcare system, hatred as "the purest form of patriotism", Obama as brand, war and conquest, the integrity of Ralph Nader, and materialism at all cost. I left the lecture feeling melancholy, if engaged; I made myself feel better through materialism "Comeback Caramel" ice cream, featuring chocolate Red Sox. Anti-highlight of the lecture: Some douche walking out the fire exit halfway through and deadening everyone's hearing for five minutes. The danger-colored "do not exit through this goddamn door" sign is right on the bar!
          Quotes of the day:
"Our participatory democracy is a mirage." - Chris Hedges
"We are consumed by a mania for hope, which our corporate masters lavishly provide at the expense of truth." - Chris Hedges
"We have bound ourselves to a doomsday machine that grinds forward." - Chris Hedges
"This world will grow cold. Not like a ball of ice, or even a dead cloud, but like an empty walnut, rolling along in pitch black space. You must grieve for this now. You must feel this sorrow now." - Chris Hedges
"I have relatives who work on Wall Street, so I have a nice direct access into what they think. And they're very cynical! They don't think the system is sustainable in the long run. They're just stealing as much, as fast as they can on the way down." - Chris Hedges
"These people are whores for money. I'm talking about your president [Aoun], by the way." - Chris Hedges
"Every time I hear 'gold standard', I think of Ron Paul and want to run for the exit door." - Chris Hedges

Lucky Number 13

          The all-nighter failed, though I did manage to wake up before U.S. Congress and get some work done. We received our grades on the USC midterm, and I got a startlingly high 92. Prof. Beauchamp, numbers man that he is, charted a regression of what order the questions were done in and the spread of points earned per question. He also commented on how there was a "last question slump" and implored us to put a little more effort into the final answer the next time around. I think this was mildly shortsighted, in that most people probably whiffed on the last one because it was the topic least familiar to them. Also, fun political fact: Republicans filibustered 40% more bills than Democrats between 1992 and 2012, at 591 filibusters to the Democrats' 352.
          Alaric and I spent some time in the band office, waiting for people to return polos and listening to radio hockey. We were treated to three nail-biting games: a crucial Rangers win over the Coyotes, 4-3 in overtime; a 3-2 Flyers loss to the stone-cold Kings; and a 2-1 Habs shootout victory over the Bruins, snapping Boston's formidable 12-game win streak and fulfilling my prophecy. They even used their backup goalie! When we got home, a planned work party with Sabrina and Molly ended up including Peter, Sean, Alaric, Katie and Iris as well, and turned out a little more chaotic than anticipated.
          Quote of the day:
"Anyway, that's my Nate Silver spiel. We're all slightly jealous of him..." - Prof. Beauchamp

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

          Today was a blur of Super Smash Bros. and hockey with Iris and Alaric. Our hockey excitement has been building during these last few weeks' race for berths in the Stanley Cup playoffs. At first, we were forced to listen to the Detroit radio broadcast of the Red Wings vs. Wild game. After a sufficient serving of this unpleasantness, we had a brain blast and went to Iris's to watch the remainder of the game. The Wild took the game 4-3 in overtime, putting us in a jubilant mood. Some of the shine wore off when I considered what little work I'd done on my storytelling analysis, practically blowing my second chance. Thus begins another Andy-style, late-night work session that a blind guy could have seen coming.
          Quotes of the day:
"Time to fucking cash in on malpractice insurance, bitch!" - Sean
"Lax players. They have, like, their own gender." - me

Blow the Candles Out

          Logan was supposed to come up to visit today, but called late in the morning to let me know that he had to bail. Brian, Josh and Summer are all in Massachusetts today, but I couldn't convince them to skip the Yankee Candle village and come to Boston instead. The result was a listless, blue balled, unproductive day. In the evening, Chelsea and Ariel came by to pregame for a party at Jake's. On the way up the Hill, we stopped at a sketchy bodega so I could pick up cheap cigars -- in this instance, "Dutch Masters". Jake's party was standard: loud, drunk, chaotic, and gritty. We played the obligatory few rounds of slap cup, and I won $3 from Jared in a bet over my ability to get a game of Drug Dealer going. The first round was calamitous; the second succeeded, but Jared drew a face card and was sporting enough to play along. Alaric and I also brainstormed a list of grimdark sports team names, reasoning that they're more fun that way. Examples: the Boston Stranglers (or the Boston Tea Party), the Oklahoma City Bombers, the San Jose Shakers, the Atlantic City Goons, and the New York Jets.

Exalted

          I caved and joined Twitter today; time will tell how I adjust to it. For most of the day, I was stressing and throwing together a draft complaint for AWPL, and then stressing about our as-yet unrehearsed performance at Relay for Life. Prof. Britt gave me another chance to turn in my storytelling analysis of Raytheon v. Hernandez, which was pretty cool of her. After class, I beat it to Curry so the band could practice marching technique and basically get our shit together. Matt T and Nathan took command of marching instruction (some of the freshmen have never marched) and whipped everyone into shape. With the drumline's support, we lock-stepped all the way to Matthews. A Relay person situated us in a small locker room in that subterranean-hallway that stretches around the bottom of the arena. Once it was time to play, we marched around the track on the floor and performed "Safe and Sound", a safe choice to be sure. We had prepared a second song in the event that we finished before the lap was finished, but we hadn't even gotten through the first one by that time. On the walk back to the locker room, someone started to play "Hold On, I'm Coming", and the band erupted into something greater. This feeling was warm, even exultant. The rest of Relay for Life was nondescript; I watched the Unisons perform with Ariel, walked a few laps, read poetry, and slept.
          Quotes of the day:
"I just paid $30,000 in all kinds of taxes, so I hate this lecture." - Prof. Jimenez
"I'm usually a pretty liberal type of person, but during tax season I become a true blue conservative. I don't know how to view these welfare programs, but during tax season I absolutely abhor them." - Prof. Jimenez
"That is Yo! hair if ever I saw it." - Alaric

Power Tools

          I dreamed that Alanna and I were ordering dinner in a dimly lit Saugerties diner. I was served with a bowl of spoiled mussels, and when I complained, she mockingly told me to "deal with it." I went hunting for a menu to find out the cost of the food and deduct some amount for mine being rotten. Alanna danced like a goofball outside, eventually getting tired and waiting for me to take care of business. I never did find a menu.
          I spent the first part of my day off cooking up sloppy joes and sliders. Highlight: knocking a slider off the tray and snatching it out of the air, Clay Witt style. The day went well until Azan, our new realtor, sprung a surprise realtor's fee on us. I have concluded that every realtor is a douche. After dealing with some irritation with a notary at the last minute, we met with Azan and signed the new lease. Now it's back to the game of waiting for confirmation from the landlord. I shared dinner at Stetty East with Nathan, Malcolm, Sara, Alaric, and Becky. Alaric and I waited on the Springfest page until the designated time to snatch up balcony tickets. Cold War Kids, Sara Bareilles, and Snoop Dogg(!!!) should put on a respectable performance.
          Quotes of the day:
"We should listen to Christmas music on every holiday that includes something imaginary. Like Independence Day." - Sean
"Power tools and sex do not go together." - Sean

Witnesses All Idiots

          Once conscious, I set about sending email to the pep band regarding our upcoming performance at Relay for Life, as well as a general poll about ideas for social events. I also spent a depressing twenty minutes looking at who's in charge of the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology, as well as its subcommittees. (Sample press release: "Witnesses All Agree: Climate Science 'Not Settled'".) A sleepy day followed, and after class I went to Stetson East with some company. I devoured a massive amount of food and talked hockey with Malcolm, Sara, Skyler, Alaric, Elizabeth, and three of Sara's friends (most notably, a Blackhawks fan named Marcella). Once I hit the couch at home, it was all over. I couldn't find the energy to put a blanket over myself, let alone go to bed. In other words: dining hall success.
          Quotes of the day:
"You're like an Iris kebab." - Iris
"Why the elephant? We have no elephants in America!" - guy in class
...
Me: "Want to fight in the veggie room or out on the floor?"
Alaric: "I can't fight you in the veggie room, I got beef with you."

Desense

          I was up all night -- kind of -- and limped through my classes on fumes. Afterward, Alaric, Iris and I shared wings and watched the timeless and stabby classic, Machete. I then napped from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. to finish out a strange, disjunctive day.
          Quote of the day:
"It's hard to feel strongly about a lot of things at 5 p.m." - Danny

Platoon

          I somehow slept from 9 am to 9 pm, obviously missing U.S. Congress in the process. During this time, I had one of the most moving dreams of my life. (This always seems to happen when I sleep at odd times.) The vision came in two phases. In the first, I was on a hill in a Vietnamese jungle, defending a position with three other American soldiers. Before I could cry out to warn him, one pulled a rope on a tree and set off a booby trap, and a glimmering knife swung toward him. He stepped out of the way only to be impaled by another, and the soldier next to him was killed by a third blade. A horde of Viet Cong soldiers came running out of the trees across from us, bayonets fixed. The other soldier jumped on to a light machine gun and attempted to defend our position, but I knew we were finished if we didn't run for our lives. An armed VC jumped from behind a tree near my position; I shouldered my rifle and shot him in the face, then ran as fast as I could. I knew it was too late for my buddy and never looked back.
          In the second part of the dream, I was the middle-aged father of a German Jewish family, circa 1942. We lived in a two-story house at the top of a hill in farm country, and it was dark -- candles on the porch and in the windows cast an orange glow in the snowy yard. I could hear a platoon of soldiers coming our way, and I ran inside to bolt the door. I hoofed it up the stairs, locking the bathroom door behind me, my wife, and our two sons. We could hear the door being kicked in downstairs, and my wife begged me to hurry. I tied together some rope and my family climbed out the window to escape. Behind me, the soldiers broke through the bathroom door, and I woke up.
          The rest of the evening was pretty mundane. I played Super Smash Bros. with Alaric, Sean and Katie, stayed up for a while, and went running (the weather being slightly more forgiving.)

Donkey Kong Country

          I slept in for much of the morning, relaxing with Alaric and Emily when I finally woke. In the early afternoon, Nathan brought over his friend Nolan from home. The two of them are remarkably similar: garrulous, robustly built, hairy, and excitable. Along with Iris, Sean and Katie, we played numerous rounds of Super Smash Bros. Much later, I went running late at night and practically froze my dick off. Eventually, I got home and ended up rolling around on the floor trying to warm up/kill the pain. Iris laughed at me in the same way the audience laughs on America's Funniest Home Videos. Also, we dropped the last game versus UNH 4-5, but I'm fine with it because BC got pwned by #8 seed Notre Dame, and the rest of the contest is full of teams I don't have any feelings about.
          Quotes of the day:
"Hitboxes, arrrggggghhh!" - Sean
"...slipped him a jiggly..." - Alaric

Red Dragon

          I stayed up all night before packing up, eating a ton, and drinking lots of coffee before our trip home from D.C. As I was putting away the last of my stuff, I looked out the window to discover that we're across the street from the goddamn Blackboard HQ. There is no escape from this stuff. Corey and I had a meeting of the joint chiefs of staff before leaving, and a maid entered our room while we waited for the elevator. Downstairs, I hustled on to the bus and waited nervously for JL to come outside. We left without incident, and I managed to get Batman Begins playing on the TV before falling asleep. I was not prepared to sit through another iteration of Bring It On, or worse, a three peat of Pitch Perfect (enjoyable as it is.) I woke to a mildly bad comedy/action movie called We're the Millers, featuring an amazing mustache, as well as the news that the men's hockey team beat UNH 5-4 in overtime. Tomorrow will settle the best-of-3 tournament. Once we were home, I got back into the familiar routine of smoking and boozing with Emily, Peter, and John, along with Malcolm, Alaric, and Iris. Malcolm built a house of cards, Emily did her "smoke like a dragon" routine, and we talked until no one was able to move.
          Quotes of the day:
"I've said this again, and I'll say it again." - Peter
"I don't care, just put vodka in it." - Emily

Pain Is Timeless

          I meant to get up and work while everyone went sightseeing in D.C., but ended up sleeping like a rock into the afternoon. Hence, I missed out on doing much of anything. I don't like D.C. that much anyway, so it's cool. I attempted to begin a small essay for U.S. Congress that was due within an hour and a half, got about two sentences down, and gave up. Our girls lost 63-61 to Delaware -- an unexpectedly exciting game, but still a loss, meaning that we'll have been in the city for about a day in total. On the bus back to the hotel, I paged through an ancient book of poetry and vocalized my extreme dislike for Emily Dickinson, who wrote all of one poem that I found to my liking. (See below.) Katie E offered one reason to enjoy Dickinson's work: nearly all of her poems can be read to the tune of "Gilligan's Island."
          Corey and I decided to smoke before we headed to dinner. My mother then displayed uncanny spidey senses, calling me just as the gear was in my hand. The entire conversation from my end: "Yes, ma. Yes, ma. Yes, ma. Yes, ma. Yes, ma. Yes, ma." Due to this interruption and some other shenanigans, the two of us were late in getting to the lobby and found everyone waiting for us. We were forced to drop and give JL 10 pushups for our tardiness, and I did my utmost to stand as far from him as possible. Our enormous group convened at a sports bar/restaurant called RFD (Regional Food and Drink) and waited around outside for some time. Via phone updates, we learned that the men's hockey team lost the first of three games versus UNH, 1-0.
          When we finally got inside, we found that RFD was a popular place to eat. This was a positive sign, though the abundance of Ovechkin and other Capitals gear was mildly repulsive. I enjoyed an exquisite regional root beer called Dominion with a hearty buffalo burger, and our table alternated between watching basketball and playing extremely tense rounds of Drug Dealer. (It's tough playing a game based on sneaky eye contact when the players are in rows.) On the way out the door, I created an awkward moment by bellowing "CAPS SUCK", only to be recalled by the hostess since I wasn't allowed to leave the restaurant with the root beer bottle.
          Post-dinner, I ended up drinking with a strange combination of people: Kevin, Abby Rosie, John, Charlie, Adam P, Katie E, and for a brief time, Malcolm, Bruno Mars Nick, and their friend Nancy, who drives a Red Bull truck. She hooked us up with three cases of the stuff before the three of them went rambling and left us to play card games. After we'd exhausted the standards, we played a new one: Purple. This is a maddeningly simple game in which one guesses how the next card to be pulled relates to the last one, and I quickly became addicted. Highlight: John and I combining for a 31-card streak, during which I correctly called 2 blacks and a "higher" on 10, and his eventual (and catastrophic) loss. I spent the last of my drunken energy trying to catch up on blog entries.
          Quotes of the day:
"Go NU! I bleed red!" - me
"Are all of the cabs here Priuses? Priii?" - Julia E
"I think the Calgary Flames should be from Washington. 'Washington Flames.' The British would root for them." - me
"How can a buffalo be spicy?!" - Eminem
"They're the whitest school on the planet, and their entire basketball team is black." - Malcolm
"And the 'Holding Your Liquor' award goes to Andy. Good job brah." - Adam P
...
[The room phone rings.]
Me: [huskiest possible voice] "Room 717."
JL: [deadpan] "Hello, room 717."
...
Me: "Mr. [redacted], what the hell?"
Malcolm: "Hooters is on the other side of the street!"
JL: "After! After!"
...
About BC losing 7-2 to Notre Dame...
Me: "But BC is losing."
JL: "Humiliatingly so. That's a victory for the whole world."

19.

Emily Dickinson

Pain has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there was
A time when it was not.

 It has no future but itself,
Its infinite realms contain
Its past, enlightened to perceive
New periods of pain.

Low Expectations World Tour

          After napping in the daytime, I met with the rest of the band around 6 to get on a bus to Washington, D.C. Once again, it's time for the CAA women's basketball tournament, a.k.a. the "low expectations world tour." I grabbed a Heavyweight from Chicken Lou's and dove into a game of Age of Empires II on the bus. This ended in catastrophic failure, so I settled on finishing Pitch Perfect with the rest of the bus (again.) The cheerleaders somehow managed to pick the next movie as well. Faced with the prospect of watching Bring It On, or worse, the whole collection, I distracted myself with Hotline Miami, Codename Gordon (a 2-D tribute to Half-Life), and a variety of other games. Unfortunately, the wi-fi was malfunctioning, so I resorted to stealing it in glimpses from passing buses on the highway. Once that was over, we basically bum rushed the DVD player to prevent further torture, at which point I discovered that the DVDs I'd left on the Baltimore bus were still on board! Ocean's 11 provided appropriately non-intelligent amusement until we arrived at a Connecticut rest stop. JL used a fancy NU-issued debit card to buy fast food for everyone, and John B, Malcolm, Nick, and me watched Spy Kids 2 while we ate.

Did anyone remember that Steve Buscemi was in this movie?

          I was assigned to share a room with the extremely taciturn Corey, a bassist who I (and most people I asked) have never spoken to. We both hit the sack almost immediately, though not before I found that I'd forgotten my black pants, one of two parts of my actual band uniform. They were on my chair - how did that happen?!

You Got Sick Blood

          I went to Julia's to hang out and met a couple more of her roommates. I felt like doing something with my hands, so I ended up cleaning their entire kitchen and common area while we chatted. Stephanie, Julia and I moved shop to Stephanie's place in White Hall, where we smoked, fooled around with a DSLR, and talked about the standard operating procedure for RAs. I eventually found my way home and watched about 16 million NHL highlight videos.
          Quotes of the day:
"It was a little TMZ in the capitol." - guy in class
"This is old-school political science." - Prof. Beauchamp
"They know even your blood is bitter." - Stephanie, on why mosquitoes dislike Julia

Eternal Sunshine

          And we're back on! There's a silver lining to getting knocked out early: actually getting back to school. I only missed yesterday's installment of U.S. Congress, and rolled into today's classes more or less completely unprepared. I'd completely forgotten to draft the assignment due in AWPL, but as it turned out, so had everyone else. I'm enjoying how fast 'n loose this class is becoming. In the evening, I smoked with John at the war memorial in the Fens (the first time since I went with Eric last year) and we settled in at home for conversation. Alaric, Sean and I met with Jake C to discuss the apartment search. Later, Iris and I shared cake at her apartment and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which was not at all what I expected. I was waiting for a 50 First Dates type of rom com, and instead got fridge horror and heartbreaking twists. In other words: much better.
          Quotes of the day:
"Maybe it's just a state with really bad drivers, like New Jersey." - Prof. Jimenez, re: the problem of attribution
"Your deposit has been deposited. In a g-string." - Jake C
...
Me: "The real outrage with Girl Scout cookies is how much empty space there is in the box."
Girl in class: "Maybe it's supposed to represent the empty womb."

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig

          The bus ride home was lengthy, but Jared and I passed some of it watching Machete Kills, and that made all the difference. The sequel to Machete is just as over-the-top gory as the first, with unexpected sci-fi elements thrown in for good measure. Mel Gibson's performance is suitably ludicrous, and Elon Musk's cameo is priceless. Also, SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga playing the same character is insane. END SPOILER END SPOILER The setup for the third movie gave me heart palpitations of joy. The Machete films are not deep; they are not thoughtful; but damn, are they fun. At long last, we were home again.

Shades of JMU

          Long story short, we were eliminated by Delaware, 87-74. I didn't feel too bad, we had a solid run just beating Drexel, and the Blue Hens were first seed. Afterward, I drank with Jared, Sabrina, Haley, Luke and Malcolm, and we put on the premier of Neil deGrasse Tyson's Cosmos. Once our minds were sufficiently bent out of shape, we settled on The Simpsons for cheap laughs. (I maintain that The Simpsons is astronomically better than any similar show, be it Family Guy or South Park. Their subtle political jokes are the best. But I digress.) As the night went on, I ended up sitting in a dark room, drinking and bonding with Ariel, Emily, and Jared. In one of my first interactions with Emily, who is one of the most caustic people I've ever met, she accused me of being a possible racist because I'm dating an Asian. These are the risks we run when talking to angry sociology majors. More partying followed, and finally Emily and I shuttered ourselves in the bathroom for our first smoke session. Over the course of a few hours, we slowly developed a friendship to the strains of classic rock and sarcastic banter. Also, in the process of telling a story, she mentioned one of her best friends -- someone named Margaret, who studies at SUNY Purchase. Something clicked in my brain, and I remembered Shanti (also a student at Purchase) telling a story about a Margaret. I asked for her last name, and discovered that yes, this world is smaller than we're led to believe. What were the odds that: (1) Shanti and Margaret met each other; (2) Emily and I met each other, independently, at a much larger university; (3) I made the effort to befriend Emily, who is seriously mean; (4) that Shanti told me about Margaret; (5) that I remembered the story, 2 years later; and (6) that Emily would bring her up? Our brains were practically splattered on the wall.
          Quote of the day:
"All these generic white boy names..." - Emily

Into the Arms of Angels

          I rose early to shovel down a huge continental breakfast in the interesting company of JL, Gavin, and Anthony. We discussed the finer points of living in Vermont, complete with crazy Yankees. After taking time to digest all of the pancakes, bacon and other staples, I walked down to the waterfront with Jared, Gavin, Sabrina and Peter. This was a magnificent spring day, and I was uncomfortably warm in just a windbreaker. We basked in the sun, watched tourists wander by, and examined the old-fashioned wooden ship in the harbor.
          We arrived early for game one against Drexel and applied face paint at the arena. The fan section, small as it was, definitely psyched out the Dragons during foul shots; I got to bring up a brand new trumpet for the tournament, and it's pretty much a magical talisman for my playing skills and confidence. (Of course, I threw my customary red and black beads on it, because individualism rox. Northeastern was ahead in the latter part of the second half, and Drexel turned to the strategy of continually forcing foul shots to stall the clock and slow down the Huskies' scoring chances. The last two minutes of the game took fifteen minutes to elapse, and four Drexel players fouled out in a futile shot at holding us off. The Huskies responded with cool heads and precise foul shots to finish the Dragons, 90-81. This is the second time we've beaten them in men's basketball this week. It's also the second time we've beaten them in men's basketball since 1999. Go dogs, go dogs, go!
          We were taken to a different venue for dinner tonight. Midtown BBQ & Brew is an eatery that looks like it was installed in an apartment, emptied of personal belongings just hours before. It has several floors, chambers that were obviously bedrooms, shag carpeting, and a weird escape hatch that I kept wondering about. We obtained platefuls of scrumptious BBQ sliders and kielbasa, then quickly staked out two couches positioned in front of a flatscreen TV. Feeling lighthearted, we sought out a hockey game and found a Coyotes v. Capitals matchup. I know nothing about the first team, but actively dislike the second, so most of us fell on the side of the 'Yotes. They scored at the end of the first period, we jumped up and hollered, and left the restaurant feeling triumphant. (Not to mention full of pulled pork.)
          Back at the hotel, four of us played several rounds of completely sober Drug Dealer. Since the dealer had a one in three chance of winking at the cop, they went quickly, and of course Jared consistently ended up being the cop. A little while later, I went with Sabrina, Jared, Gavin and Peter on a nighttime walk to the harbor. We smoked cigars of moderate quality and took a million photographs. We were then posed with a decision: (1) head left along the water to check out the aquarium, a submarine and other cool ships, or (2) go right and climb up a manmade hill, the historical location of a fort overlooking the port. We chose the hill, and were soon gazing out over the skyline. Again, Baltimore surprised me with a flash of beauty. Set back from the rampart side of the hill was a playground. Some youths were smoking in the jungle gym, but I paid them no mind and went straight to the swing set. It has been a long, long time since I had a good swing, and as I loosened up, it felt like flying. I devolved into wild laughter. I was filled with a brilliant happiness the likes of which I haven't felt in months, at the least.
          Once I climbed off, I was in full kid mode. I burned this remaining energy by rolling down the hill, a speedy and bumpy experience. We returned to the hotel to drink and play more Drug Dealer with a variety of folks. I had a conversation with Charlie for the first time, and he regaled me with stories of fake IDs and getting beat up by a gang outside of Ruggles(!) This night slowly lurched to an end, and I collapsed into bed as soon as the lights were out.
          Quotes of the day:
"First time having sex...first shamrock shake...first time having sex...first shamrock shake..." - me, comparing
"The air doesn't hurt!" - Gavin
"Creamy Caesar is my porn star name." - me
"Let's all go to Dragon Land!" - me
"It's okay, nobody is driving." - JL, pouring us more water
"Knock knock knockin' on Kevin's door..." - Peter
"If I was the invading army, I would have just taken the stairs." - Jared, re: the fort
"Do I remind you of the patriarchy?" - me
...
Matt T: "If you miss this shot, you lose your scholarship!" [The arena is quiet. Drexel player misses his foul shot.]
Husky fans: "Stu-dent loans...stu-dent loans..."
...
Peter: "I am out of it today."
Me: "Know who else is out of it? Drexel."
Re: our cigars...
Baltimore Loafer 1: "Damn, those some fat ass blunts."
Baltimore Loafer 2: "Damnnnn! They's two of those mofuckas!"
...
Peter: "What just cracked there, Sabrina?"
Sabrina: "My left butt."

The boys are back in town.

"Fly by night away from here. Change my life again."

The Sum of All Fears

          I got up early to shower and throw my stuff together for the pep band trip to Baltimore. Since VCU dropped out of our conference, that's where the men's CAA basketball tournament is taking place this year. And good riddance! They were unlikeable, arrogant, super-dominant bastards anyway. Jared and I sat together on the bus -- a match made in heaven. We watched Kick-Ass 2 and messed around with coloring books, for which Jared has one rule: something new has to be added. (See below for my own creation.) I then watched Gatsby on the bus TV, and was suitably impressed. I'd heard some confusion and negativity directed toward its use of contemporary music, but I disagree with that sentiment; I think that it serves admirably as a sort of bridge between the past and now, a common element that makes the characters and story more relatable. I must also note that I never read The Great Gatsby, and am just now learning what a douchebag my character was based on in "A True Gentleman". Also, I have now heard enough of the phrase "old sport" for a lifetime.
          We reached Baltimore just before dusk, and my first impressions were of a sprawling city a few decades past its prime. The streets are very wide, and many of the buildings look empty or are boarded up. Though not precisely dirty, the area where we're staying is not beautiful. It's certainly less picturesque than Pittsburgh. Peter and I are rooming together, and hiked up to the 8th floor to find an enormous suite awaiting us. We dropped like stones, vaped and rested for a few minutes. Soon enough, it was time to join up with the rest of the gang for dinner. The designated eatery was a nondescript sort of bar/restaurant called Maisy's, just five minutes' walk from the hotel. We were herded downstairs into a small room with the cheerleaders, the fan section, and the band all squeezed together. We were treated to a couple of surprisingly tasty pasta dishes, salad, chicken, and an extremely limited amount of pizza. The food was served buffet style and was quickly wiped out every time more came out, and I was lucky (and observant) to snag a piece of pizza when it came out of the kitchen. Someone clearly goofed on logistics, but it all shook out fine.
          After dinner, Peter, Sabrina and I shared another vape session; on a tip from Ariel, we had invited Emily to join us, but she didn't show. I then hunting for drink with Ariel and Chelsea; first, to a super sketchy late-night liquor store, and then to a super sketchy 7/11 that made me think, "This place is definitely knocked over at least twice a year." I was captivated by a tallboy can with Shaq's face on it -- "Soda Shaq", specifically orange cream soda -- and settled on that for an experimental chaser. On the walk back, we discussed the wildly varying architecture in Baltimore (some of it more beautiful than it seemed at first.) We also hated on the wide-open highway spaces and general air of desolation; even in the witching hour, Boston never feels so dead. Even the more-or-less rural area I grew up in seems a little bit alive at night, though it tends more toward the "rustling wildlife/Rip van Winkle/Indian burial ground" type of ambience.
          Our room was the scene of a remarkable party, involving Ariel, Jared, Chelsea, Haley, Luke, Griffin, Gavin, Peter, Sabrina, Malcolm, Sara, Eminem, and Anthony. We took advantage of the large group and played several rounds of Drug Dealer, I talked international relations with Gavin, and Jared and I had a heart-to-heart after getting significantly sloshed. At last, I willingly sank into a deep, sweet sleep.
          Quote of the day:
"You just seem like an electric toothbrush kind of guy." - Luke

(sign of the times)

Money On Top

         I had another fun dream, wherein I got super amped over a dark, gritty Great Body Shop (click) movie that was nearing release. I tried to get work done before spending the evening with Iris, Alaric, Jared, Peter, Sabrina, Sean and Katie E. My folks called in the midst of festivities to let me know that my great-aunt and great-uncle passed within a few days of each other. The last time I saw them was when we visited Alfred, and it's strange that they've just sort of vanished from the earth. Rest in peace.
          Quotes of the day:
"There should be a mashup of 'Love On Top' and 'Money' by Pink Floyd. 'Money On Top.'" - Alaric
"You've heard of busybodies. You've heard of antibodies. Now, we bring you... biddybodies." - Sean
...
Jared: "How was the gym?"
Alaric: "It was good."
Jared: "Who won?"

Allstar Sauce (50 in '07)

          I woke up feeling sick as a dog, and basically like utter shit. I did my best to sleep and had an exciting dream about a broomball game. My team was playing uphill and were down 1-0, but I led a Flying V-type charge on the net and managed to score from some distance away. I managed to score again on the rush, and a teammate's point sealed it at 3-1. The exhilaration died away when I woke up still sick, though feeling considerably better. The bad vibes lasted throughout the day and I failed to get anything of substance done. Iris cooked an incredible pot roast for dinner, but I fell asleep before I could enjoy it.

Eye-Talians

          Iris and I went on a date in the North End and decided to hunt for a restaurant when we got there. We wandered around for a little while, walking down back streets and looking at menus. After passing one restaurant by, an elderly couple recommended it and we agreed to try it out. Inside, La Famiglia Giorgio's was sparsely populated, and I could hear some of the employees laughing and talking in the back. We were seated by a fireplace, and were soon served with a huge and mouthwatering Caprese salad. I selected a tasty white pizza with spinach, shrimp, garlic and mozzarella, designated as "Al's Favorite". For dessert, we had very un-Italian ice cream cake, which later drew Christina's ire. Though not a knockout like Carlo's, La Famiglia Giorgio's offers huge portions, good quality food, reasonable pricing, and kind service. I left my keys at home, so we went to Iris's to watch Return of the Jedi (I know it was at the end of the last movie, but did I mention that Iris didn't know Vader was Luke's father?) I also attended PBP, and had an extremely mediocre time; with an hour left, I felt totally burnt out.

Hangerine

          I attempted a solo run in Civ IV, and it was pretty sucky. I got wrecked nearly immediately, despite all sorts of precautionary measures. A good rule for this game is, "Your army can never be too large." Later on, I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World with Alanna, Sean, Iris, and Alaric, and it was as good as ever. "Once you were ve-gone..."
          Quote of the day:
"I'm Wolverine. No, I'm Hangerine." - Alaric, holding hangers

Montezuma's ICBM

          Nathan, Sean and I played a solid amount of Civilization IV, with varying degrees of success. Poor Nathan started his first game trapped on a peninsula, I did moderately well just grinding along as the Germans, and Sean crushed Montezuma as the Carthaginians. Later on, I went to Marino with Alaric and Sean, where I used a few machines but spent most of my time running. After a couple miles on the treadmill, I loosened up on the indoor track, which is one of my new favorite places. Aside: Macklemore's "Jimmy Iovine" is a fantastic running song.
          Quote of the day:
"Commies before mommies." - me

Willem Dafoe / Willem Dafriend

          Alanna, Julia and I went on a failed trip today, despite all efforts. We had fun at the MFA, where the featured exhibits were patron-voted works of Impressionism (great), Abstract Expressionism (amazing), Art of the Americas, and "Think Pink," a gallery of pink objects. We also rambled through the Asiatic and Ancient World sections, with a stop here and there. I particularly enjoyed the work of Willem de Kooning, one of the foremost of the expressionists. Once we were finished at the museum, the three of us shared lunch at Pho Basil; I settled on the battle-tested Massaman curry with beef, and we split a couple helpings of shumai as well. The music on their speakers today was adahdfaudhbayd, notably a jungly tune that sounded like it was from the Donkey Kong soundtrack. After a stop at Boloco for Nutella milkshakes, we went our separate ways. Diverging from my original plan, I attended the men's hockey game versus BU, and ended up wishing I hadn't. For the second time in two days, we were beaten by the second worst team in Hockey East, completing the weekend sweep. The final score was a painful 4-2, though we found solace in one of those two points being an own goal by BU's goaltender. (He scrambled around looking for the puck, retreated into the goal, and it fell off his back and into the net.) After their win yesterday, JL consoled us by email: "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while." This second loss should provoke some questions for the players and coaching staff. As soon as the drubbing was over, Malcolm, Iris, and Julia came to our place for conversation group therapy.
          Quote of the day:
"Andy, if we lose this game, want to go mix it up with some BU fans?" - Matt T
"I just hate BU so much." - Matt T, ad nauseam

De Kooning - Excavation (1950)

De Kooning - Woman, I (1952)