Say Goodbye

Note: I found some provisional notes in an email to myself. The entries for 12/3, 12/5, 12/8, 12/9, 12/10 and 12/11 have all been updated with minor changes.

           I woke up on time, sprawled out in a living room chair and quite refreshed. This was to be my last day at the office. Some pipes in the basement were leaking, and up on the 6th floor, we were plagued with a distinct odor of sewage that came and went throughout the halls. Several library updates came in yesterday, and though I outstayed everyone (after 8 p.m. on New Year's Eve!) I was still unable to get it all sorted out. I left some work for Christina to deal with when she starts, but also a long note with as many tips and instructions as I could muster. It felt kind of anticlimactic working so late on my last day, but I enjoyed a beer as a reward for the extra diligence. I periodically broke up the boredom by checking the NHL scores, and New York Swiss-cheesed the Panthers as expected, 5-2. After some time and urging from the night watchman, I went home to briefly hang out with Jules and Alaric and hit the sack.
           Quotes of the day:
"Do you smell...uh...shit? - Tom
"You don't see Andy abandoning his post! He doesn't even work here." - Tom

Bob's Country Bunker

          My last Tuesday at the office was uneventful. Alaric was the first to return to the apartment, and Jules came over as well. We made a jolly bunch with Tasty Burger take-out and hockey. The Oilers ended a 9-game losing streak with a shootout victory against the Kings and made me a happy guy. I attempted to stay awake until the morning and but did not quite make it.

Alpha Flight

          This morning, I shaved with possibly the dullest razor in existence. This was to be my last Monday at Rich May. And what a Monday it was! At one point, I went to pick up a file at an MGH office and was asked for ID at reception. I dug into my bag, retrieved my passport and handed it to the guard. He made me a name tag, handed back my passport, and I headed for the elevators. I went to put away the passport and realized a condom had found its way into it, and the guy at the desk didn't react at all! Those are no longer being kept in the same pocket. When I walked out, I held my head high.
          Back at the office, I held a packet of paper motionless under a stapler until I remembered it wasn't one of the automatic ones. Diane asked me to go to the more distant bank, and it completely slipped my mind until about ten minutes before they were set to close. I booked it out of the office, through the streets and uphill to the bank in time. I guess if there's one thing I can do, it's run.
          After work, I went home and processed an unbelievable amount of paper. I hacked my way through a few shopping bags' worth of magazines and newspapers, restocking the supply of subjects for my decorative efforts. I watched the Stars cool off the Rangers win streak, 3-2, but it's all good. Our luck's been excellent, the Stars are okay in my book, and actually similar to New York as a hyper-speedy rush team. Florida is next up, and they should fold like a chair.
          Quotes of the day:
"It's a Christmas miracle!" - Ashley
"At 80% off, not buying it would have been like fucking your mother." - Dave

Bacta Tank

          Dear diary: Today, I did nothing but watch hockey with Iris and quickly fall asleep. Last night must have taken it out of me more than I thought. (The Panthers wiped out the laff-able Maple Leafs in an interesting 1 goal-2 goals-3 goals-4 goals exchange, and the Ducks beat the Canucks as a bonus. Two for two.)

I-90

          With no one in the apartment and having done the same thing for the past few days, I was gripped with cabin fever. Michelle was back in town, so I went to her place on the E Line for a small party. I met her roommate, Anneloes, who I can only describe as intense. She appeared with a variety pack of Hawaiian beers called Kona, and I can safely say these are my new go-to favorite. The Big Wave golden ale is best, but all of them are satisfying. A few other folks came as well, all friendly; the girls made a star-shaped nutella-filled baked confection, someone produced a ludicrous vaporizer, and an assortment of silly things happened. It touched my soul to interact with someone after the hermit routine.

Also. The Rangers won their 7th straight against the Devils on a hat trick from Derek Stepan, the team's second hat trick in two days. Something is in the water at Madison Square Garden. See also the Sabres' improbable 4-3 shootout win over the Islanders. This makes tonight a perfect run in the Tri-State area.

Cave of the Green Man

          Today was spent effectively the same way as yesterday, which is to say: faded and often asleep. I decorated further, cleaned the apartment to a meticulous level, and got organized. I have not made personal contact with a human in two days.

Take Me To the River

          Christmas Day. I alternated between drinking cinnamon whiskey, sleeping, and eating the huge chocolate pretzels that Kathy gifted me. I've been enjoying the solitude, but it got lonely today. I put in some work on a multi-part snapchat story paralleling "12 Days of Christmas". Since part of this involved drinking 5 shots of gin, I was out again within a few hours. This is the life.

Bukowski

          I had an easy, easy day at work. The firm was originally to close at 3 p.m., which is the usual for the day before holiday breaks; the admins moved this up to 2 p.m., and then finally said "screw it" and said everyone could leave by 1 p.m. I went home to an empty apartment and was soon drunker than Bukowski. I arranged my pile of presents, decorated my room until I was too unsteady to stand, and fell asleep in a pile of paper sometime early the next morning.

Lonesome Dove

          This was my first full day with the apartment all to myself. I woke up around 2 a.m. to smoke, decorate, clean house, and acclimate to the quiet. It rained all day, but my misery from walking around was tempered by the second office-wide Yankee swap. I made a play for a six-pack of fancy IPA and an accompanying movie, produced by one of Ted's clients. After work, Iris came over and we watched the second installment of Road to the Winter Classic, just as fascinating as the first.
          Quotes of the day:
"Gettin' richer every day!" - random dude, after seeing me pick up $.07
"Libbie is the canary in the coal mine." - Jim H, re: Citrix issues
"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of blazin' it." - Jules
...
Allen: "Wait! How about you take the lottery tickets, and I'll trade you the Starbucks card."
Libbie: "No, that's ok-"
Allen: "I can make life very difficult for you, Libbie."
Kara: "That has to be the first Yankee Swap threat."

Mysteries Abound

          After an entirely unnecessary all-nighter, I had a completely nondescript day at work. Not even feeling tired, I busied myself with random tasks until the end of the day.
          Quote of the day:
"Why do bad things happen to good people, Andy?" - Kara, after a can of seltzer exploded on me

Sudden Death In Carolina

          I got up in the afternoon and puttered around the apartment, but accomplished nothing of consequence. Iris, Sean and I hung out and watched the Rangers shut out Carolina, 1-0, for their sixth straight win! Talbot's third win (and third shutout for the season!) was an easy-peasy, 18-SOG affair. We also ventured to Tasty Burger once again.

When the Lights Go Out

          I smoked with Michelle and pregamed with Sean before leaving for the Aeronaut Brewery in Somerville. I met with Jules and Griffin to see Austin's band, the Dirty Dottys, perform in this cavernous, dark building. The Dottys have a self-described "pop-Motown" sound, perfect for dancing and singing along; their original material is fantastic stuff and their groovy cover of "Just My Imagination" made my day. The crowd was a blast, dancing and shaking, and the show was free! Also, since this was their "new album release carnival", there was a very unsettling mime in the crowd -- probably the first time I've seen a mime in real life!

Sludge Bomb

          The office was extremely quiet the day after the holiday reception. Several attorneys called out sick, making less work for the paralegals and me. This was lucky because everyone else was drained and moving at a snail's pace. Julia and I took twenty minutes to set up the computer at reception, groaning and rubbing temples all the way. Something mysterious and slightly malodorous was spilled on the carpet under my desk, so I tried to work around that while getting back into the groove. The mantra for the day was just to hold on until 5:00.
          After work, Jules arrived to relieve us with her brand-new launch box. We relaxed for a few minutes at my favorite spot in the Fens and tested it out, and were joined by Emily and Alaric at home. We watched Pulp Fiction, then ate at Tasty Burger and smoked a snipe or two while we waited. Emily and I made an adventure out of retrieving the mail before everyone crashed for the night.
          Quotes of the day:
"I'm pretty sure it runs on electricity." - me, setting up the PC with Julia
"Ashley just ate a steak dinner." - Kara, 9:05 a.m.
"This is a business, not a funnery." - Tom
"You know it's a good party when you find shoes." - Bob
"The only times I've blacked out were while I was drinking Franzia." - Sean
"She released her anal scent on me and I smelled like fucking cat-ass. It was horrible." - Emily

Article III: The Santa Clause

          Everyone seemed to float through the day before the holiday reception. I was forced to surrender my workstation about halfway through the day so that the caterers could set up a bar in there. The kitchen was soon packed with carts, crates and other sundries, and I spent the second half of my shift just staying out of the way and putting last-minute stuff in order. At first, I went down to the lobby to help the paralegals with the name tags, but it seemed like there were too many cooks there and I headed back to the office.
          Before I knew it, the firm was packed with roughly 400 people for what one guest called "the best holiday party of its kind in Boston." I enjoyed dim sum from one of the catering stations, avoiding the heavier roasted chicken, potatoes and the like. Emily appeared eventually, and together we stalked around the party, sipping on wine and beer and plucking away the occasional dumpling. Harold was merrily holding court in his office, surrounded by colleagues and a former paralegal from decades ago. After some wandering, Emily and I camped out in the library, where at least 5 cigars were being smoked at a time. A mustached gentleman chatted us up and asserted that it's better to work in the private sector because it's "just a better class of people," to which I smiled and nodded; later, an excessively drunk and flirty guest put her hand on my leg and rubbed Emily's back. Once things had calmed down in there, we scooped up some half or less than half-smoked cigars (the drunk lady called them "snipes") and headed out to the afterparty at the Vintage Lounge. At the bar, we met up with three of the lawyers and most of the paralegals. Emily and I put a few drinks on the tab, ate delicious flatbread, traded gossip, and bailed when we got too drunk. We even got to pay cab fare at the firm's expense -- a wise and lawyerly "no questions asked" policy -- and were soon safe at home. I met a few people, ate and drank well, and didn't embarrass myself, so I think the reception went perfectly. [Best dessert: cake pops. Best party favor: mugs full of Lindt truffles. Messiest drunk: Ashley. Greatest holiday sweater: Cats with lasers shooting out of their eyes, with a pile of presents underneath.]
          Quotes of the day:
Me: "Emmett's brother is just like him!"
Jeff: "Oh yeah, there's a whole series of them."
...
Party Guest 1: "I heard you know a little about real estate." [all laugh]
Party Guest 2: "I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy."

Last Light

          Work was a flurry of activity. The entire firm got together for the annual pre-party meeting (read: "don't get sloppy") and my day was spent making sure everything is more or less in place. At lunch, I reflected on all the positive events in the offing. See the normalization of U.S. relations with Cuba (and it only took 50+ years of failed foreign policy!), New York's moratorium on hydraulic fracturing, and the steady advance of marriage equality across the fifty states. I predict that the Supreme Court is going to come down on this within the year. It's hard to believe that I'll be able to tell my children -- or maybe nieces and nephews -- that I lived in a time when it was not so.
          After work, Iris came over for the Wild vs. Bruins game. I enjoyed a calzone and some of Iris's characteristically scrumptious cookies. Bergeron was Bergeron, Falk went balls to the walls in a fight, and Pominville managed to force overtime for the Wild. Things went slightly less well than I hoped when the Bruins scored in overtime, but a point is a point. Seeing New Jersey and Vancouver shut out was also fine by me. Alaric and I smoked as well, and for once, he went at it longer. Tomorrow's going to be a long, busy day for me.
          Quote of the day:
"As you've noticed, we have spared no expense making these conference rooms look exactly the same as before." - Bob

Hail Eris! Hail Discordia!

          I dragged myself out of bed with a series of 15 alarms, each one a different tone and spaced a minute apart. I was in continuous motion all day and felt pretty wiped by the end. A Red Bull, lots of water, and Regina's pizza at the attorney-paralegal lunch helped me survive through 5:00. After the office closed, I stayed with the admins and paralegals to do some sweatshop-status work for the holiday party. We stuffed gift bags with mugs and chocolate truffles and put together about a million name tags; once again, I climbed around in the upper reaches of the library to get everything looking perfect.
          I made it home in good time and prepared to watch the first of two Epix specials on the run-up to the Winter Classic game. I wasn't sure what to expect, but the program was amazing! It gave special attention to Capitals coach Barry Trotz and various players. There was a lot of insight into what goes on during play and practice, with mics on the ice and recaps of what happened in various regular-season games. It was fun hearing Joel Quenneville screaming about how the Hawks were playing "like we don't give a fuck!" The special was slickly produced and cannily organized, and is fully worth the watch. Later, Alaric and I smoked from an apple as the Rangers downed the Flames 5-2 to complete their three-game sweep of the Western Canada teams. I was entirely satisfied with how my day shook out.
          Quotes of the day:
"Ever since I was so mean to him, he doesn't come down to my office anymore. So I don't have to file a sexual harassment suit for my doorframe." - Shaela
"This has been a long week. And it's Tuesday." - me
...
Shaela: "What's the plan for food at the holiday party this year?"
Julia W: "Eat it all."

Cat With the Hands

          I smoked with Iris and Alaric and watched the Sabres beat up the Senators with an improbable 5 goals to 4, and we played Chicago to pass the time. I traveled alone to Julia's, and was soon feeling rather paranoid on the crowded Green Line train. I dislike any place where people are waiting together: waiting rooms, elevators, public transit. These things make me uncomfortable even under normal circumstances. When I arrived, Julia and I drank beers with Cara and played with their new cat, Scout. He's a tiny orange kitten and he loves me. We smoked and took turns reading to each other out of the Principia Discordia, the surreal book I found at Hempfest. We went to Shaw's as well, where Julia picked up raspberries and I obtained a fatal 12-pack of glazed donuts. When I got home, I maintained with Alaric and watched the end of 300, a perfect movie for when you don't want or need to care about what's happening.
          Quotes of the day:
"[redacted] is an anachronism. He should start phasing himself out." - Nick K
"Nooooooooo!" - Julia, thinking she had cherry tomatoes
"He's a cat stud." - Julia

Face Heel Face / Heel Face Heel

          I stayed in today, decorating and smoking as usual. Alaric, Sean and I completely fucked up after making dinner plans with Michelle; we expected her to come to the apartment first, and she expected us to meet her at the restaurant, eventually leaving alone, and no one came away feeling good. The Maple Leafs took down the Kings -- kek -- and the Rangers managed to shut out the Oilers on a back-to-back. I continued to watch Arrow and continued to be surprised by Summer Glau's character, the cutthroat CEO of many faces. Also, this nugget of wisdom from Dr. Ivo: "The essence of heroism is to die so that others can live."

"What seems to be the problem, citizen?" "You are trying to kill me!"

          I experienced a heavy dream about the end of the world and woke up feeling very emotional. I went to the office and mindlessly straightened up a bit. In the process, I helped Anne-Marie with some petty thievery and picked up some free clothing for myself as well. It's amazing how much random, outdated gear is just sitting in the closet, waiting for someone to take it. We can't even give the stuff away. At home, I played a chess match against Alaric. I don't remember who won, but I do remember that he threw a pawn/king Flying V at me.
          Iris, Sara, Clay, and Malcolm joined us on a trip to Tasty Burger, where we were served by the Russian. Once stuffed, we came home to drink a bit. Alaric and I then traveled to Regina's place, a massive brick-walled apartment not far from Northeastern. We turned up with her, Julia, and a bunch of other folks; margaritas and scrapping were involved. Finally, it was back home for hookah, etc. A feverish night of activities then came to a relaxing close.
          My top three hockey teams all won tonight! The Rangers blew away the Canucks in a 5-1 humiliation. "It's Miller Lite time!" The Wild pulled off another rally and beat the Coyotes in a shootout, 4-3. The Sabres even picked up a 4-3 overtime win against the (finally) improving Panthers. Other highlights: the Flyers going 5-1 on the terribad Hurricanes; the Penguins losing a shootout to the Bro Jackets, 4-3. All great stuff.

The King Is Dead

          I visited Anne-Marie at her apartment, which is on a singularly pretty street surrounded by other, far less charming streets. It's on the other side of Tremont Street, just a minute or two away from our old place at 1023 Tremont. She gave me pancakes with real syrup -- benefits of Canadian friends! -- and we put on the Habs game versus the Kings. Since we were watching a stream, the whole thing was in French. I stayed for the first period and saw Montreal get up 1-0, then headed back home to meet Sara, Clay and Nathan. (The Habs ended up destroying the Kings, 6-2.) We watched the very serious, very historically accurate medieval romp A Knight's Tale, which was fun against all odds. A reviewer on IMDb said it better than I could: "Normally I hate 'popcorn' movies - not because I consider them 'low brow' or an insult to the intelligence, but because they're shallow, tired and lack soul. Yet A Knight's Tale is different. No, it won't change your life and it won't make you ponder your place in the universe. But it will entertain you." Outside of the movie, it was interesting watching the Sara + Clay Show develop.

I AM ZETTERBERG.

          I had a long, busy day and felt worn out by the time 6 p.m. rolled around. I went to a bar called JJ Foley's with some of the paralegals, drank a few beers and had a grilled cheese and French onion soup. I don't entirely click with them in conversation, but we're all friendly people and everyone seemed to have a good time bantering and telling stories. At the apartment, I called home about staying in Boston for Christmas and it was a much easier talk than I expected. Stephanie came to see me after I got home, and together we enjoyed the merits of the Green Goblin. At some point she turned into a cocoon-like blanket/person hybrid. We talked about fashion, politics, work friends, and all types of stuff.

We Back

          Something happened and I was extremely late to work. I was barred from further overtime, and it's fine because I brought it on myself. After work, Julia and Johnny came over to our place. We chilled out and watched the Maple Leafs/Red Wings game, which ended in a tragic shootout victory for Toronto. Iris brought cookies, and Emily came as well. Our conversation turned into a sort of debate club over torture, presidential elections, social issues, and SC(r)OTUS.

No Place Like Home

          The day started off miserably, with the Green Line shutting down at every station and finally kicking everyone off at Boylston, meaning a long walk in the rain. My day was completely ruined when I was sent to the downtown bank on this, seemingly the rainiest of the year. Coat, no coat, no matter -- I was dripping head to toe and down an umbrella by the time I got there. Everyone was extra-sweet to me for the rest of the day, probably noticing the thunderstorm in my expression. The majority of my evening was spent decorating my room ("decorating hard," per my notes). It's beginning to come together but there's still a long way to go before I can call it finished. Alaric and I watched The Flash, with its typically mindblowing Man In Yellow cliffhanger. Hockey: Buffalo shut out the Kings 1-0, which felt good in my loins. The Wild beat the Islanders 5-4 after trailing 4-1, which felt even better. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Optimus Klein

          The Rangers beat the Penguins 4-3 in overtime, serving sweet justice for that recalled shootout bullshit the last time around. Klein cleaned up with another extra-time goal after part of his ear was mangled by a high stick. Even better, I fell asleep after Pittsburgh had scored and woke to the win. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Optimus Klein

Irish Yoga

          I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. I was curled up on the floor, doing Irish yoga practically the entire day. By the time 7 or 8 pm rolled around, I was shaking it off. Iris had requested that we watch a two-hour special about snakes, so she came over and joined Nathan, Alaric, Sean and me. The thrust of the program was that a team would go out and capture this vast, legendary anaconda, at which point one of the scientists would don a snake-proof suit and allow himself to be eaten and regurgitated by it. (In the interest of science, of course!) 80% of the special was the team dicking around in the jungle. They never even caught the damn snake! Another 10% or so consisted of explanations of the floating forest's ecosystem, which is actually fascinating stuff. Finally, the last ten or fifteen minutes were the experiment, which was aborted after a smaller, previously captured snake proved too powerful for the anti-snake armor, or whatever. The scientists topped it off by making baseless claims about the kind of data they probably would have collected if it had gone correctly. This was probably the most disappointing television program I've ever been excited for ahead of time. I desperately tried to enjoy the rest of the night with some Borderlands 2 and a late run.

Where Walks the Juggernaut

          In preparation for the party at Jared's this evening, I went to CVS with him to seek out Santa hats. We were prepared to hunt high and low, and were instead greeted with a display right by the front door. We wore them to Matthews, where the men's basketball team beat the Western Michigan Broncos handily, 81-69. They never fell behind. I like to see that sort of complete performance from the Huskies, given their penchant for choke jobs. Later on, I took my sweet time getting to the party.
          It was already a hot mess when I got there. Beer pong was in full swing in the kitchen; Lucas and Claire were walking around in elf costumes. I took a few shots and danced a bit before helping Katie E throw up, and then helping Nathan throw up. I also fell down the stairs, wrestled Malcolm and left a smear of his blood on the wall, and admired Matt T's glorious ugly Bruins sweater.
          Quote of the day:
"That's probably the easiest thing I've ever done." - Jared
"Isn't there another team called the Broncos?" - me

It Makes Me Want To Wag My Tail

          Sabrina received my letter today! I'm not a patient guy, so it was tough keeping it a secret from her. Props to Delia for enabling me to do so. Apparently it got there at the same time as some mail from Shannon, so good job us. I spent half of the day training Christina to replace me; she is friendly and a quick study, and I regret that we hadn't spoken in band before now.
          Quote of the day:
A client: "You guys are dressed up today."
Nick: "Yeah, we have a client coming in."

Little Red Lighter

          Arrow and The Flash are both entertaining shows in a garden-variety way, but the new crossover episode is insanely good. I was excited to see how the disparate tones of the two programs would be reconciled, and was satisfied with the outcome. Barry Allen is a bit darker; Oliver Queen is a bit funnier; and John Diggle does an interesting turn as comic relief. Of course, there's the unavoidable "who would win?" fight sequence! This blended Arrow's gritty hand-to-hand combat with The Flash's brain-breaking pseudo-pseudo-science into an eminently watchable spectacle. And as always, the little touches make good stuff great: the vocal cord vibration the Flash uses to mask his voice is used to a much scarier effect here. ("I heard you were looking for me!") Verdict: "ill af", as per my notes.
          The NASA boys went for an impromptu walk out into Boston University territory. It was late in the evening and we were stricken with cabin fever. I brought supplies for extracurricular activities, but had forgotten a key instrument (read: lighter) and first we hunted for a CVS or convenience store in order to purchase one. Once that was dealt with, we wandered through unfamiliar neighborhoods and chatted idly. We smoked as we walked, deliberately taking sprawling detours through the darkened suburbs. On the returning leg of our journey, I completed a personal first by breaking the law in the vicinity of a police officer -- call it civil disobedience. I like shady, uneven side streets the best, but I think there's a certain beauty in those big, empty avenues at night. The glare of streetlights is softened by the trees on all sides and in the median, diffusing a soft light. At a certain hour, someone traveling alone (or almost alone) can feel like it belongs to them. "The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world."

Silver Bells

          Over lunch, I got my hair did. My shaggy mane has been replaced with a more approachable, close trim, but my beard is also bigger than my hair now, so... Much of my shift was spent doing kitchen grunt work, moving soda around the office and the like. It's not the most stimulating work but useful occupation is just that. Along with the rest of the paralegals, I stayed a few hours late to put up the holiday decorations. We had a few beers, threaded up garlands, hung ornaments, and listened to Mariah Carey. The reception area looks gorgeous with a full circuit of lit garland; arrays of gold and silver-wrapped presents have made the library remarkably homey. Dangers encountered: ornaments falling and smashing dramatically; cheap lights turning on and off at random; braving the basement to find the proper color of ribbon; climbing around in the upper part of the library. Later, I unsubscribed from numerous spammy mailing lists. Most of them remove you immediately, but Dell once again manages to shock with its bullheaded determination to ruin the consumer's day. I'm expected to "allow up to 10 business days" for the email unsubscription to be complete? We're talking about electronic communication here, not a specialty order! Later, Jules, Alaric and I ended up in the bathroom with a lack of places to go, and nostalgia for sophomore year was in the air.
          Quote of the day:
"I am gonna liquidate Dave [redacted]." - Scott
"Oooh, we just got religious up in hurr." - Julia W

Method Man

          Emily and I saw Birdman (Or: The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) at the AMC this evening. Birdman is a complicated film. I haven't digested it yet, and probably never will in the fullest sense; it's one of those where you can detect larger machinations beneath the surface, but the wheels never show. It is a bleak, black comedy full of futility and broken ego. A rotating, diversely talented cast piles on the plotlines, some of which seem to lack complete resolution but all of which are executed with surgical production quality. It's impressive watching a harried Michael Keaton hit rock bottom; Edward Norton is smoothly arrogant, both vastly and subtly different from the pre-incarceration skinhead of American History X. Zach Galifianakis is somehow the most diplomatic guy in the room as Jake, my favorite character. Bonus points for the always-charming Emma Stone! The jazzy and offbeat score carries the existential action along. There are some explosions and a guy in a bird suit makes a few appearances. Themes of acceptance, validation, and desperation run throughout. In my eyes, the main weakness of Birdman is that it is too clever by half. There is clearly a unifying vision at work somewhere, but the confusing abundance of storylines and overwhelming richness of the production make it somewhat inaccessible. I couldn't savor Birdman the way I would have liked to; trying to identify all the spices in the dish is too taxing.
          Quote of the day:
"The Devil is for people with no imagination." - Matt

Juneau and Roy

          The firm ordered L.L. Bean gear for everyone in colors of our choice, and I've been hooked up with a navy blue Rich May vest. It's warm, cozy and perfect for those days where the office is inexplicably chilly. In the evening, I did my laundry, struggled with Borderlands 2 -- it crashes more often than not these days, like all my other games -- and hung out with Jules. I also clawed my eyes out while the Lightning beat the Rangers 6-3 to complete a three-game season sweep. Finally, I put up nearly all of my remaining posters not deemed unusable this year. The apartment is still coming together.
          Quote of the day:
"You and ham. Such a whirlwind romance." - Eve, to Iris

Ghost Peppas

          I went to Rod Dee 2 with Steph and ordered the drunken noodles, an ill-advised decision to say the least. In short: they dropped me on my ass. I was crying and wiping my nose over and over again within moments of digging in. I attempted to struggle through the dish anyway (the noodles were tasty during rare moments when the spice subsided) and incurred further pain for my efforts. Buyer beware!

Family Affair

          My mother and brothers came out to see me today. After the obligatory stop at Tasty Burger, we hung out and chatted until I started to drift off. They left with a large box of stuff I chose to send home. Later, I drank brewskis with Iris, Becky and Alaric.

Rendering

          The Thanksgiving mess in the kitchen escalated to a formidable level, and I slunk around it for most of the day. Occasionally I would rumble in like a caveman hunting for food, rip off a strip of the ham, and withdraw again into "digestion only" mode. I did manage to get some cleaning and organization in before my folks visit tomorrow.

Friendsgiving

          I spent a peaceful, joyful Thanksgiving with Alaric, his friend Stefanos, Iris, and Regina. We cobbled this group out of the leftovers in Boston, cooked a massive amount of food, and shared a jolly evening of football (go Eagles?) and other activities. Stefanos and I played a tight game of chess; following dumb mistakes by both of us, I squeaked out a narrow victory. It was fascinating spending a holiday so through-and-through American with a Greek and a Mexican; happily, food is a universal language. I was worried because we didn't all know each other, but the conversation flowed as freely and easily as the billows of hookah smoke. Stefanos provided an intriguing Greek liquor called ouzo while we ate ourselves into a coma. It's hard to top my Thanksgiving with Iris last year, but this one was really excellent.
          Quote of the day:
"They're #losing the American Revolution." - Alaric

Through Thick and Thin

          I had my balls busted repeatedly at work regarding my daily bank trip, and escaped to run someone else's errand. The weather being how it is, I was quickly miserable and soaked and battered by hail, but I managed to keep the papers dry long enough to get them where they needed to be. I returned to work, where the shit rolled downhill again -- this time about an unmanned reception desk -- and things continued like that. People made my life difficult. I fought the weather all day. You just can't catch a break sometimes.

Cat Rats

          During work, I had to go to the offices of the Secretary of State and found myself in a labyrinthine building full of grey-faced people. There are posted signs detailing policy changes from 2004; two sets of elevators went to two different places, and everyone I crossed paths with gave me a nervous look. After I got home, Alaric and I went to LJL's for wings and Sweeney Todd. Post-movie, the two of us went to the Fens, climbed a tree and smoked. We stopped at home for more supplies, then returned to my accustomed spot behind the track to continue, and played a game wherein we try and make each other laugh. (It's typically the would-be comedian that busts out laughing before the guy who's otherwise occupied.) Finally, we sat on a concrete pile and watched traffic go by for a while. I watched a streetlight that occasionally blinked on and off. Everything was peaceful for a time. We started to hear a persistent rustling noise in the woods and came to realize that we were being stalked by some sort of rat or other small mammal. I leaped up and growled at it at one point, but this brought only a temporary reprieve. When we left, the cat rat could be heard rustling alongside in the trees by the water. At home, we settled in with ice cream and The Flash.

Undergrowth

          I slogged through biting wind and rain to the MFA stop and cowered under the shelter there. I then discovered the poor design of said structure, with no protection against the wind and a gap in the roof that effectuates soaked benches. This shelter provides zero protection against rain when there is any wind whatsoever. I eventually gave up trying to stay dry, sat down and tried to ignore the intermittent sprays of icy water to the neck. The nastiness continued throughout the day; even after the rain dried up, a stifling mugginess descended with the sole purpose of making everyone feel horrid. I was later buffeted by unusually powerful winds while trying to stuff a mailbox, which is as fun as it sounds. Note: I'm consistently sent to the bank that's farther away on days with terrible weather.
          At some point in the day, I was seized by an urge to stop by Sugar Daddy's. Iris agreed to meet me, and we combined to purchase incense, hemp rope, screens, papers, and most importantly, a pipe for her. After much hemming and hawing, she selected a vaguely lightning bolt-shaped piece in a deep, mottled green. This is a beautiful piece of work. We went home to give it a go, and Johnny and Alaric joined us for testing. Nathan and Sean stood by as well. We watched some hockey and caught up on Gotham, after which Johnny and I headed over to the Fens to smoke and chat for a while behind the track. I went home and fell asleep directly.

Blood From the Eyes

          I did not do much today. Emily and I enjoyed pizza and watched Winnipeg lose 4-2 to the Blues. I went to sleep for a while and woke to find that the Rangers defeated the Habs in a 5-0 shellacking, which made my night. Later, I went for a run and continued to watch Arrow. Sebastian Blood, the creepily patriotic alderman, has been my favorite character since his introduction (closely seconded by Det. Lance) and he has only gotten better. Meanwhile, the Mirakuru superdrug storyline continues to horrify; no word from the MLB banned substances team as of yet.

War of the Roses

          I slept until 4 pm, then went into rush mode on the party playlist for Malcolm. Once I'd made snap decisions on most of the remaining material, I packed up my stuff and headed to Willis. Malcolm's external HD transferred over a day's worth of music in under a minute - marvels of technology taken for granted. Alaric and I met up and walked up to Allie, Lena and Lauren C's place on Hillside for Harrison's surprise welcome-back party. He's been in Peru for a semester and was dearly missed. Even though the surprise guests were not sneaky in the slightest, Harrison was blown away (he was expecting maybe 5 or 6 people) and said he felt weak in the knees. A live band called Tommy & the Dreams came and jammed for our enjoyment. Highlights: Smoking with the band (baby's first dab!); chatting with some dude about the Civil War and the Scouts; narrowly avoiding a senseless fight with that same guy; finding out Carisa is an honest-to-god real life Sharks fan; smoking with Carisa and Lena; finally burying the hatchet and becoming friends with Rose; the sangria/apple juice/apple slice bowl of deliciousness; Jeremiah Weed str8 out the bottle; three godly pies that were somehow largely untouched; Jacq going off; Jacq's younger sister going off; Harrison's little brother going off; discussing otherworldly experiences with Eliot and Eric; just sitting in a circle in the alley outside. I took a long trek back in the cold to meet with Emily at home.
          Quote of the day:
"We don't talk about Marleau." - Carisa

Johnny Stompanato

          I got up on time and in an energetic mood, and was raring to work when I arrived at the office. Many tasks fell before my supercharged drive to git 'r done, but the most memorable thing about my shift was getting shocked with static electricity at least thrice an hour, all day. Other highlights: Smelling beer from down the hall as Bob threw a pre-Harvard/Yale football game tailgater in the office (yes, the game is tomorrow... not sure I understand...); staying late to extend my berserker work frenzy (berwerker?) I actually enjoy sticking around on Friday evenings. There's no pressure, most people are long gone, and you can work at your own pace and feel like things are wrapped up.
          In the evening, I went to Claire's for another board game night! I played Jake S in a closely fought chess match; I gained the advantage but the game ended in a draw after I failed to pin down his king. A quick break for an alcohol run resulted in four significant acquisitions: Jeremiah Weed-branded Fireball-type stuff (but better!) in a sweet bottle; a $20 handle of surprisingly smooth "Poland Select" vodka; a bottle of Coke Life, just for giggles; and a couple bags of free peanuts from the guy at the counter. We drank, worked with coloring books and magnetized the results to Claire's fridge, and finally transitioned into rasslin'. Alaric, Malcolm and I took turns cycling in; the matchups are roughly even, except I seem to have Malcolm's number for some reason. Further brawls will test my theory. Alaric and I returned home to listen to music, talk, and smoke more than I have in some time.
          Quotes of the day:
"Love that beard!" - Howard
"Last time I had lunch with you, you went to sleep." - Eric
"You cut a dashing figure." - Chris C
"Oh Father, thank you for this providence of wooder, Father Hartnell!" - Alaric

Power of Attorney

          I made an oops this morning and used my last half-sick-day to sleep in. When I did get to work, I dove in and busted my ass for a few hours. After work, I finally went out for drinks with some of the paralegals. We went to a bar called Warehouse. This joint is bustling, modern, popular for aprés-travail drinks, and the cocktails are all named after Dave Matthews songs. (Note: "Warehouse".) I had a Narragansett/Aristocrat coffee-milk stout and a G&T, we chatted about all manner of topics, exchanged snapchat names, and bonding was accomplished. Apparently I'm seen in a decent light work ethic-wise, which is nice to hear. Post-bar, we trekked to a Walgreens to get ice cream and other snacks. When I got home, Nathan gave me considerable assistance with the party playlist and I spectated as he explored the newest installment of Super Smash Bros.
          Quote of the day:
"This burrito isn't Mr. Right, but it's Mr. Right Now." - Kara, re: a wrap
...
[redacted]: "Have I told you about the time I did mushrooms?"
Client: "This is my lawyer!"

WHO YA GONNA CALL

           GOALBUSTERS!
          Ariel met me at Symphony to share dinner and catch up, and we traded stories and gossip. Next was a trip to the liquor store, where we mulled over various beers before settling on the tried 'n true Traveler pumpkin shandy and UFO's Gingerland, a pleasantly bready, lightly spiced brew. A meeting of the joint chiefs of staff segued into the Rangers vs. Flyers game; New York shut Philly out 2-0 in a rough and tumble contest. Talbot came up with some impressive saves and Optimus Klein lit it up for an improbable 4th time this season. To the Flyers' credit, goaltender Mason played out of his mind, Simmonds made a couple of nutty breakaways, and Claude Giroux had a sneaky play or two; unfortunately for Philadelphia, their defense corps is just too shitty to live. I stayed up late and continued to work on the party playlist for Malcolm. (This marks the sixth major revision thus far!)

          Quote of the day:
"They're like license plates for all the places our livers have been." - Nathan

Show Me Ya Moves (Super Smashville Bros.)

          Another day of work passed quietly. Alaric, Nathan and I played host to Andrew V, Emily, Iris, Jules, Lindsay, Jane and Lauren for an evening of hockey-watching, beer and conversation. Eleven games were scheduled for the evening, so we expected some magic to happen in at least a couple of them. And what blows were there given! The shit-tier Sabres beat the Sharks again -- I think this is eight consecutive times now -- with 4 goals to 1. The Devils lost 3-1, which should brighten everyone's day; Johnny Gaudreau scored in the Flames' shootout win over the Ducks; and the Red Wings severely whupped the Blue Jackets, 5-0. Ariel and Chelsea were unable to make it to our place because they were at TD Garden, watching the Bruins shut out the Blues, 2-0. The indisputable jewel of the night -- maybe of the season -- was the Predators' 9-2 annihilation of the Maple Leafs in their own building. I almost voided my bowels when Nashville was up 8 points to jack shit, and the end result was negligibly less satisfying. Any lingering sadness over the loss to Tampa Bay was wiped away. Later: The Sopranos, wine and reefer madness.
          Quote of the day:
"There was a mad Republican and I missed it?! That's my favorite!" - Jane

Bolt From the Blue Line

          Despite an umbrella and raincoat combo, my feet were thoroughly soaked within two minutes of leaving the apartment. After a day of work largely spent becoming less moist, I went home to meet Anne-Marie and watch the only hockey game of the evening: Lightning vs. Rangers. Before long, New York was down 2-0 and I called the final score at 5-1. Ryan Callahan ended up scoring on us twice, a goal by Brian Boyle was narrowly averted, and Marty St. Louis got the only Ranger goal -- I sense bad blood starting to trickle between NYC and Tampa Bay. I was ultimately proven right: a 5-1 ass-kicking. Iris arrived with amazing chicken pot pies to stuff us and displace the sour taste in my mouth. The combination of gravy, work fatigue, and sports-related sadness meant I was dead asleep by 10:30. (Just like after that loss to JMU the other year...)
          Quote of the day:
"I don't wanna be famous! I want my win!" - Jeff

Start the Buses

          With some help, I clambered out of bed for the men's basketball season opener at TD Garden. As always, we would start with a game against the hated Boston University. The game was characterized by long, messy streaks where no one seemed capable of scoring, as well as numerous 3-pointers by a revitalized Walker. At the halfway mark, we were down by several points. The band and dance team went out on the floor to dance to "Thriller", and though I would have liked a practice run-through to refresh my memory, it was far from disastrous. The crowd seemed into it, and the rest of the music played by us and by the BU pep band was tight. We even outnumbered them at this game. The second half gave us a hair-raising game of catch-up, a ten-point comeback, and finally Northeastern came out on top: 71-65! Of course we were hyped to the max, and I proudly won a bet with Matt T, who had claimed that our basketball team was going to win before our hockey team could. He owes me a beer, but who can complain when we've trashed BU in 3 out of 4 sports this week? Other highlights: "Centerfold"; my prophecy that the other team would commit an offensive foul on the next play; howling at foul shooters.
          An XBOX HUEG group of people returned to Stetty East for victory dinner, where I bulked up on peaches and cherry tomatoes. Shay G and I are on uncertain ground again, and I still can't fathom why our friendship is so strange. I took a few minutes to watch The Simpsons on the TV before returning home for hockey, etc. with Iris, Alaric and Nathan. The craptacular Panthers found a way to crush the Ducks, 6-2 -- must be a feline/fowl thing. Most of the other games were nondescript (San Jose vs. Carolina, 2-0) or disappointing (Chicago vs. Dallas, 6-2.)

Though All Men Do Despise Us

          THE NORTHEASTERN MEN'S HOCKEY TEAM WON A GAME! The score was an unconvincing 2-1, and we turtled against the boards for a solid minute at the end, and we were up against Hockey East's second-worst (now rock-bottom) team, but we beat someone! The Huskies' record is now 1-8-1, and this poopsicle of a season can only improve. Highlights: Jules throwing a chocolate chip pancake on the ice during chuck-a-puck; standing right in front of JL and trying to mask the fragrance of alcohol; winning the game; free hand towels! I don't know if I've flipped out that hard since the Rangers beat the Penguins this spring -- jumping up and down, dropping my stuff, screaming my lungs out. And however improbably, we're now above UNH in the standings!
          Did I mention this was the alumni game? After WE WON, numerous of us flocked to Punter's for brewskis. I parked it at a table with Jules, Nathan, Matt T, Starkey (+ companion), Tim, and eventually Ariel and Iris. Other alumni were scattered at a couple of other tables, joined by Anne-Marie, but I didn't stray over there. Punter's is my least favorite bar -- it reeks of piss, its sound system is limited to bass notes, and the place is somehow cash only. Still, it was a blast catching up with folks and murdering pitchers of beer. Once some time had passed, I excused myself to meet Johnny, Tom, Alaric, Nathan, and Jules at our place. All of us except Nathan smoked, and he was quite drunk himself (though I was inattentive to this fact.) We tried to order pizza, changed our selection at least twice, and Nathan orchestrated the whole thing. When it arrived and he went down to collect, I got a call: "Can you guys bring some more money down?" Our cart had not cleared, and instead of the expected two pizzas, we were granted four pizzas and two boxes of cheese bread. This was the best worst thing ever to happen, or perhaps the worst best. Lesson learned: Don't let the drunk guy work the online ordering system without proper supervision.
          Quotes of the day:
"I don't think operating construction machinery while naked is a good idea." - Emily
"That's my niece. Yeah, I gotta be careful on Tinder, people think she's my kid..." - Tim
...
Emily: "Keep my mom out of this."
Sean: "The hard part is keeping me out of your mom."

Barry Bonds

          My hair was Alfalfa-status this morning. I worked very hard and the day went by quickly. Everyone seemed checked out by 4:00, sitting around and chatting. I went home and immediately began to prep for Nathan's birthday party; everyone pitched in then or at various earlier points to get the apartment clean and ready to go. Prior to the planned start time, I ventured across the Fens to meet my guy, and he kept me waiting for about ten minutes in the cold (again!) Regardless, we arrived at excellent terms for a large quantity of bible worksheets; this was well worth the awkward back-and-forth stroll behind the MFA, and as a bonus, was not at the back of Mission Hill. Another plus is that this guy is quite friendly when he does show up, and we talked a bit about hockey since I was wearing my Northeastern jersey. He's from Panthers territory, and I would probably be making fun of them if they weren't all-stars compared to NU right now.
          Once the party started, I broke from my usual routine and stayed in the kitchen to monitor the alcohol. I ran the drink dispensing and money collecting rackets for most of the evening, making conversation where possible but often having to move people along to make room. Nathan was quite drunk and seemed to be enjoying himself, so I turned my attention elsewhere. The best parts of my night were spent with Matt T, Emily, Jules, and a perfectly blitzed Erika. (The last of whom we continually threatened to rat out for drinking on the pep band listserv, or better, in a private email to JL.) As per usual, I was drunk also, but again failed to get as hammered as intended.
          Quotes of the day:
"I'm an engineer!" - Erika
"Okay, you're a civil engineer, so let's not be throwing around the e-word just yet." - Matt T
"With steel-toed boots, anything and everything does happen. Except for toe injuries." - Matt T
"I should draw you like one of my French girls." - Adam

Shootout At the MN Corral

          I woke up t- holy shit I fell asleep in a chair with no alarm. Somehow my body was able to do me a solid and wake me up on time. I jammed to the Crash Test Dummies' "Ghosts That Haunt Me" on the T, and only in retrospect did I realize I was still a bit drunk. The epiphany came about an hour later, when the hangover hit me like a dump truck full of gin and tonic. I fought off the urge to vomit for a couple of hours and cheered myself up by reading about how the courts shot down Kansas' attempt to block gay marriage. As for the Supreme Court's inevitable decision, the writing is on the wall: certainly within the next three years, but probably within twelve months, marriage equality will be real in all fifty states.
          For those less versed in the legal side: The courts have long maintained that marriage is a citizen's right based on the 1st Amendment right to free association. Ergo, since marriage is a right, the government must have a compelling interest in order to regulate it, and must pass strict scrutiny before it even attempts to do so. Since religious beliefs are not a valid argument in a secular court, and because no study has ever proven that children raised in LGBT families come out shattered, no such interest exists. Therefore, marriage as it exists now is a right unduly withheld from a portion of the American people, as per the 14th Amendment's guarantee of equal protection under the law. This reasoning is not only crystal clear, it also blocks moronic slippery slope arguments. No 14th Amendment violation exists when everyone is forbidden from marrying animals, and there's a compelling interest against broken families, psychological abuse and genetic weakness when it comes to incest. Polyamory is more slippery, but the main argument against it is that multiple marriages typically mean one man and a bunch of women who are nothing but "brood mares." ~50 federal judges have stricken down bans on gay marriage, and the Supreme Court's silence is deafening. They've had many chances to weigh in but have abstained; at this point, a reversal of that massive retinue of judges would send the message that the federal court system has no idea what it's doing, an irreparable blemish on its credibility. With the ultra-conservative Sixth Circuit's recent, contrarian opinion, SC(R)OTUS has no choice but to wade in. In it to win it!
          Of course, once my headache had quieted to a dull throb, I got sleepy. The end of my shift could not come fast enough. At home, I did my laundry and some communal washables with the considerable assistance of Alaric and Iris before settling in for hockey. The Stars dunked on the Kings 2-0, but the real highlight was the Minnesota v. Buffalo game. I love both these teams, and got a wonderful surprise when the game turned into a shooting gallery. The Wild scored two goals 7 seconds apart -- they only made it to the third word in the first announcement before Niederreiter scored the opener of an eventual hat trick -- and Buffalo counter-punched ten seconds later, a total of three goals in 17 seconds. Minnesota won 6-3 in an outstanding effort, but there was no lack of effort by the Sabres.
          Quote of the day:
"I can never tell, you're always so perky." - Meryl

"What was it about those ducks?"

          Running on just a bit of sleep, I had a nondescript day at work and enjoyed a full plate of free food along the way. Hard-boiled eggs? Grapes? Cheese on crackers? What is this place, a buffet in disguise? When I got out, I went directly to Cabot for the women's volleyball game against first-seed College of Charleston. We took the first match narrowly; the second ended on a lame note; it was game point for CoC, we won the rally, and we were preparing to serve when the a ref made a late call on the play and awarded CoC the match. That pretty much killed the energy in the room, and the Huskies lost the next two in close decisions. The saga continued with Shay G (as she will henceforth be known.) Tonight I got the better side of our Two-Face-esque friendship, including pleasant conversation and even an amiable arm-scratch. I don't even understand. After the game, nearly all of the rest of the band showed up for a rehearsal of our Thriller dance, set to be performed on the floor at TD Garden this Sunday. JL came more prepared this time, giving us sheet music with dance moves included instead of a backward video, and it went far better than I expected.
          I was exhausted by the end of rehearsal, but the night still had some work in store. Alaric and I went home to change, unwind and take a few shots while Nathan headed straight to Our House East to start his birthday bar crawl. We met him at Conor's soon thereafter, along with Jules, Anne-Marie, Iris, Johnny and Regina. There, Anne-Marie took her first shot ever and I played pool with Johnny against Alaric and Iris. I killed us by sinking the 8-ball early and wisely tapped out. I took a seat at the bar with Anne-Marie, where we watched the Ducks play the Kings and chatted about goings-on. Finally, some of us went to Tasty Burger for burgers and beer. Highlights: finding out that Jules is a vegan inside a burger joint; Alaric discreetly dropping a visual burp or two in the restroom; Alaric leaving his hat behind and a kind employee running across the street to return it; me stumbling straight into the door when we got home. Also, the Ducks won 6-5 in the shootout after trailing twice, true justice at last.
          Quote of the day:
"Wacky Wednesdayyyy!" - Alaric

We're On a Mission From God

          11:11 on November 11 is a special time, though I wouldn't have gathered this from how my day started out. I was already running late but had a small window of opportunity to get to work on time. I waited longer than usual for the T, later understanding this was because of Veteran's Day -- I'll come back to that -- and when it finally arrived, I realized that I didn't have my wallet. I hoofed it home, sprinted back, and waited several more minutes for the next train. The upside of mornings like this is that the day can only get better.
          I got to work to find that everyone was in a meeting, mercifully allowing me to slip into the routine as usual. When it let out, I was showered with free food. Walter's condition has miraculously improved and he is recovering at home. I even stumbled across the wiki page for man caves. All in all, good stuff. As for the holiday: I understand not taking Columbus Day off, because it's a gratuitous holiday celebrating an all-around dick and arguable mass murderer; keeping the office open on Veteran's Day when you're working with people who lived through WW2 is a little different. I suppose I can't complain about making money.
          I headed straight to Curry from work for the Youngblood Brass Band clinic. We barely sold any tickets, so the money is coming out of the band's pocket, but I think it was worth it. These guys are the real deal: insanely skilled, super-funky, and cognizant of the historical roots of their music. The band had two normal drummers, a snare player, two trombonists, a very unorthodox sousaphonist, two saxophonists, and one trumpet (the other was missing.) Every single one made me embarrassed to hold or even be near an instrument. The frontman talked about the evolution of Nawlins music and how YBBB's interpretation fits into that picture, and in between these interludes they made sweet, sweet music. A small contingent of the pep band gave a great performance as well; at the end, numerous of us joined the band on stage for another, essentially impromptu song. As a bonus, we picked up a poster for the apartment at a dirt-cheap $4.
          Emily, Alaric, Nathan and I obtained Tasty Burger and brought it home, where I finished Wanted. Not a fantastic movie, for sure, but not unworth watching. It's a tad difficult to believe how quickly the protagonist transforms from "working stiff/loser" to "hard as nails badass," and the conclusion of the destined-target plot arc was wrapped up a little too neatly. The last three seconds are easily the worst part, though. (BEGIN SPOILER) Scene: Main character looks away from rifle scope and into camera: "What have you done lately?" (END SPOILER) The best parts of the film are the things that happen offscreen: What's the deal with the tapestry of fate/kill list? Is everyone crazy, or what? Exactly what happened to make Cross leave the Fraternity? Who was Mr. X? How many people know how to curve bullets? Why are we forced not to care about trainloads of faceless civilian casualties? Is this one of those movies where the bad guys really won in the end?
          We put hockey on after the credits rolled, just in time to see the Stars' Garbutt scoop up a shorthanded, game-winning goal versus the Coyotes. Eventually, we transitioned to a boxing match between Bernard "The Alien" Hopkins and Sergey "Krusher" Kovalev. It was still early in the fight, third round at the latest, and we watched it to the end. Kovalev had the better of the older but legendary Hopkins, keeping him on the ropes for much of the fight, and landed some punches that would have left most people drooling on the floor. I read up a bit on the boxers afterward, and extend props to the Alien for his 12th-round adamantium chin and grit in the face of a younger, stronger, guileful competitor. Piqued, we hunted for MMA after this, but could find no channels that weren't payextra2watch, Instead, we put on The Matrix and enjoyed some new beers (the peppily carbonated, bitter but light Perpetual IPA for me!)

          Quotes of the day:
"Get them out of here! I only eat carbs!" - Kara
"Balling on a Budget. That's the new book I'm gonna write on personal finance." - Ryan L

"No one wants to know how much you practice, they just want you to make them feel something." - David, YBBB snare drummer

"You're making a statement here. And your statement is, 'Look how badass I am.'" - Nat, YBBB sousaphonist

BEEZ NUTZ

          A crazy, ten-hour-long series of interviews for new attorneys meant that I was freed from reception for nearly the entire day, and both Harold and Walter were out today. I capitalized to get a pile of work done; excavating boxes in the basement can be time-consuming, assuming they're to be found at all. Contractors were swarming about the office all day, installing new, energy-efficient lighting that's brighter and whiter but creates a hospital-like atmosphere in sparsely decorated rooms. I left work as soon as possible to meet Iris at TD Garden, where we waited outside until a small flock of Northeastern students showed up with the discounted tickets.
          We were split up into a few groups and parted ways with Sara and Elizabeth. Iris and I climbed up to the nosebleed section (ahem, Premium section) where I ended up immediately next to another Northeastern student - wearing a Devils Winter Classic jersey. This would be my first NHL game and I was seated next to a fan of the franchise I most despise. The view from up top was beautiful and we had lots of room to walk around; the worst thing was a comparative lack of crowd noise. The Devils scored about a minute and a half in, forcing me to endure the wretched existence of the guy next to me. The Chara-less Bruins were nonetheless able to tie the game up on the power play, and Bergeron struck again before the first period was over, putting the crowd in a more jovial mood. The obscenely ancient Jagr managed to even the score again at the beginning of the second, but the best was still to come. Seth Griffith, physically hounded by two defenders, somehow spun around and shot the puck between his own legs and went five-hole on Schneider. The goal put the Bruins up 3-2, but I think its most powerful effect was to shatter the Devils' confidence. A fourth goal a minute later sank the final nail; New Jersey looked lost on the ice. They made a big effort later in the third period, but I could feel it was already over. Boston took the game 4-2, and all was right with the world.
          We decided to skip the mob in North Station and instead walked to Park, where we caught the D line to Fenway.  I was seeing yellow for the entire journey, both in the "Bruins victory afterglow" sense and also "why did I drink a beer and forget to hit the restroom?" A pit stop shortly after we disembarked fixed that problem, and we moved to the next one: a five-dollar hot dog was clearly not enough to sate my hunger. On impulse, we decided to go to Burger King, where Iris has somehow never ordered anything but a doubtlessly mediocre chicken sandwich. I stuffed my face and went home to pass out.
          Quote of the day:
Iris: "What are you looking for?"
Me: "A Devils fan to pour this on."

The Court of Miracles

          I don't want to finish this entry with hockey (it felt too incongruous) so I'll start with that. The Rangers dropped another "gimme" two points against the "lowly Oilers", as the Metro referred to them; formidable Pittsburgh is next in line to beat us up. This team gives me ulcers, the way it collapses against bad teams and then puts in stellar work when I'm not expecting it. In fact, all five games tonight held defeat for my favored teams. Lucky that I was distracted this evening and didn't have time to chew on the losses. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
          I had two emotional dreams, one after the other. In the first, I was in a semi-basement/garage with Stephanie, Alaric, Julia, and twenty or thirty other friends, and each of us was carrying some form of party contraband -- liquor, paraphernalia, cups, snacks, and what have you. This place was on the edge of the woods, and apparently the plan was to trek farther in for a big party behind another, more secluded house. We exited through a back door and encountered two police officers nonchalantly leaning against a patrol car. I hissed at my companions to hide all the stuff, and they did so. We acted naturally and continued to follow the trail into the woods. The cops seemed suspicious, and one kept shining his flashlight down the trail ahead of us, but they did not follow. Relieved, we reached a clearing and slipped around behind the dark, empty house in the middle of it. We had previously set up a bonfire pit and a large carport-type awning here; when the full group reached the site, everyone stopped. The fire smoldered weakly. Six police officers were waiting under the awning. One addressed us through a megaphone: "We've been watching you for 15 months. You are under arrest for possession of and intent to distribute narcotics." Silence. Stephanie and I looked at each other with a mixture of rage and abject terror. My head was spinning.
          The second dream was shorter. Alanna was home from her co-op in California and I gave her the biggest, warmest hug of my life. Julia was with us, and everyone was beaming. A radiant light bathed the air around the three of us. If I died then and there, I would have been happy.
          As it turned out, I didn't die. I woke up early, went into the living room and chatted with Jules for a while, idly catching up on Arrow and The Sopranos. Later, Iris and Michelle came over to smoke and watch Wanted; the action was promising up to a point, but I was unable to finish the movie due to a prior engagement with Julia. We met up and rode the Green Line into Allston, settled in with whiskey and cokes, and caught up on American Horror Story. I'm still somewhat ambivalent about the show, but the last few twists have kept me on my toes. Aside: Julia mistook Tuukka Rask for Leo DiCaprio on the cover of The Improper Bostonian. We were kept company by Jennifer and Scout, an itty-bitty kitten that immediately fell in love with me and did his best to stay curled up on my chest or under my leg. He also smelled like a farm, so the girls bathed him and left him looking far less dignified than before. It was sweet to catch up with these two and spend some time actually interacting. Fool that I am, I forgot that the trains stop earlier on Sunday. I walked home from Allston at 1 a.m., chilled to the bone and mildly drunk, but the walk was peaceful and helped to clear my mind.
          Quotes of the day:
"I'm the alpha male, and I'm a beta kappa papa." - Sean
"You look like Chinese royalty." - Alaric
"I can burn calories by fucking strangling you!" - Iris
"You misunderstood. I didn't mean poop, I meant snail poop!" - Iris
"H-o-t-w-i-r-e! Hotwire.com!" - Iris

"And when you wake up, everything is gonna be fine..."

          I woke up around noon, cleaned up and went over to Iris's for brunch. Most of the food had been ravaged by the time I arrived, but I did scrape up some quality bacon 'n eggs, a piece of French toast, and orange juice. This group of food moochers was much smaller than last time and far more pleasant. I mostly talked to Matt T about the Bruins' prospects, and Phil, Cristina, and Malcolm were also present, among others. After a few hours of relaxation, we were off to the men's hockey game versus UMass Lowell.
          Northeastern's record this year is 0-7-1, and the lone tie was against Lowell on the road last night. The River Hawks were Hockey East champs last year, so I went in with the assumption that we would probably lose, with the knowledge that the Doghouse will probably empty out for the rest of the season if that happened. It was bloody. Lowell blanked us 5-0, capitalizing on numerous breakaways and turnovers. The Huskies got some good offensive looks, even a penalty shot, but never found the back of the net. Even Anne-Marie agreed that we needed to go to the bar afterward.
          Once I'd picked up a Gobbler (and drunkenly eaten half of it on the way home), Anne-Marie, Sean, Alaric, Jules and I went to Thornton's, the bar & grill on the El Pelon strip. We were served by a remarkably scatterbrained waitress. She seemed to mess something up or say something awkward at every opportunity, but she was able to provide us with heavy cheese fries, nachos and alcohol to subdue the hockey agony, and this was enough. Jules returned with Alaric and I to dish about band drama, smoke hookah and watch television.
          Quote of the day:
"Low, lower, lowest, Lowell, BU." - Matt T
"He would play songs rather than talk about his feelings." - Jules

. . . . .

"I guarantee that you wake up in a better place, and in a better time."

Kolar Brothers

          Somehow, I'm more productive when my boss is on vacation. I got a significant amount of work done and was rewarded with one of the Polish donuts a client brought in today. In the evening, we hosted a small gathering at the apartment -- Marcie came over from Suffolk, as well as Jared, Malcolm, and Julia -- but everyone was more tired than they realized and things were quiet. I fell asleep early, quite exhausted from the week.
          Quotes of the day:
"The entire [redacted] line is right here. In my nutsack." - Nathan
"Use a menorah to light 9 bongs at once." - Alaric
"Sunflower seeds. That's a good healthy snack." - Julia, turning into a commercial

The Cantpux

          I was once again put on creamer patrol and took the Red Line to Whole Foods, walking the rest of the way in a light rain. It was actually a peaceful jaunt, and I got back to the office raring to work. (Despite wet socks.) Somehow, that wore off before lunchtime and was replaced with a creeping, shell-shocked mental fatigue. Little things started to go wrong: I wasn't confident in my work, my friendship with Becky is on the rocks, I thought Emily was angry at me, and my coworkers seemed to forget that we had plans for the evening. (Granted, everyone was tired and the weather was dreadful.) Feeling worn down and raw, I decided to stay late and make some overtime; for half an hour, I distributed lawyer's diaries and new calendars to empty offices, and at the end my mood was slightly improved. Once home, I pleaded with Alaric and Nathan for help cheering up. We watched The Sopranos and Arrow with effective Bada Bing action, and it was good.
          Quotes of the day:
"His ass was the MVP." - Emily, re: Rick Nash

Is it just me...

...or do these guys...

...remind you of anyone?

#DEDWINGS

          After work, I met Emily for dinner at Rod Dee 2 and enjoyed a commendable serving of Pad Thai with chicken and shrimp. We proceeded back to Mission Control for a bit of the Sabres v. Habs game before switching to Rangers v. Red Wings. Alaric arrived, Sean dropped in, we became steadily more drunk on wine, and shirts were discarded for No T OT. The game was a rough and tumble back and forth the whole time, including impressive goals by St, Louis, Stempniak, and Detroit's Kindl and Cleary. Tatar's goal to tie it up with only 7 seconds left was a heartbreaker, but Brassard's quick attack in overtime made it worth the stress. Highlight: Rick Nash's butt-deflect goal. Anti-highlight: Gustavsson giving up the GWG and dislocating his shoulder in the same play.
          Anyway, we won!!! We were messy by this point, and chose to put on Mike Tyson Mysteries, the new Adult Swim riff on Scooby-Doo. It was perfect. We also realized that the cooler is still full of water and apples from Halloween, and we should probably drain it out in the next couple of days.
          Quotes of the day:
"Don't be infecting all of us, typhoid girl." - Dru, to Catherine
"Nothing is ever safe from [Emily]. Keep that in mind." - Emily
"One, we scored. Two, we scored on the power play, and three, we won in overtime. All unusual for the Rangers." - me

Commit Sudoku (This Man Shame Family)

          There was no new episode of The Flash today, on account of Election Day. Once again, I utterly failed as a citizen and forgot to apply for an absentee ballot ahead of time; I think I'm going to re-register in Massachusetts for the next election. Instead, the evening was a whirl of The Sopranos, hockey, and Tupac's All Eyez On Me, my new favorite album. I invited a willing Anne-Marie over for the Habs/Hawks game, but she couldn't come due to practice. This was for the best, because the Blackhawks swooped in for a 5-0 crusher and we probably would have crushed all the remaining gin. And after all this time, Iris finally learned the true meaning of "herbaceous", and was soon fast asleep. In a move incomprehensible even to myself, I decided that midnight was a late hour and went right to bed.
          Quotes of the day:
"Toasty toasty!" - Iris, ad nauseam

...

Iris: "My head feels very 'in.'"
Me: "In what?"

Iris: "I don't know."

Vlad the Impaler

          After a lull of a couple months, we finally had another attorney-paralegal lunch. Shaela dished about her roller coaster of a career (including narrowly avoiding problems with the mob!) and alluded to office drama while we shared Italian sandwiches. After work, we watched the Blues v. Rangers game, in which we lacked 4 of 6 top defensemen and our top-line center as well, and were narrowly defeated in the shootout by a red-hot Vladimir Tarasenko. Frankly, I was surprised we put up a serious fight at all, and I'm happy with the single point. We then watched the new episode of Gotham, a terrific installment that could have been called The Penguin Show for all its tasty treachery and dirty dealings. Also, a fine interpretation of Zsasz! We followed this with an episode of The Sopranos, buit I succumbed to sleep before I could finish it.
          Quotes of the day:
"I went on a career reshaping jihad." - Shaela
"Make mistakes. You can figure it out. You can always change." - Shaela
"So many pedestrians, so little time." - Chris C

Love On Layaway

          Alaric, Nathan, Sean, Emily and I lounged for hours in the living room, a wet and freezing snow falling outside - the first of the year. We turned up the radiator, drank coffee -- plus hot chocolate, in my case -- and listened to Christmas music. It felt like the holidays. (Disclaimer: I loathe nearly all holiday music during Christmastime, but I do enjoy it at other times of year.) We then watched an episode of The Sopranos, followed by catch-up on Gotham, and finally the Ducks vs. Avalanche game, in which Anaheim held on for a 3-2 win.

          Quotes of the day:

"Dirty Christmas jazz." - Nathan

"My chest hair looks like a mushroom cloud in this picture." - me

"Kushville." - Alaric, re: Nashville

Beyond the Wall

          All I'm saying is that Coldhands would be a sick band name. I also forgot to mention that last night, I purchased a Clamato + Budweiser concoction on a whim; that's basically a savory, spicy, alcoholic V8, and ~4 out of 12 daring testers liked it. After everyone watched TV and digested last night's action, we gathered all the wounded warriors (there were 10+), took a knee, and knocked them back. The others left for Jared's straightaway, while I stuck around a little longer to finish out the Rangers/Jets game. Lundqvist and Pavelec each logged shutouts in a tense, scoreless affair; the Rangers fell in the shootout, but I can't even be mad.
          I went the long way to Jared's, walking down Longwood to the medical school campus, then doubling back down Huntington. It was quite chilly, and when I got to Jared's, the glass in the front door was promisingly steamy. I made a splash as Ernie from Sesame Street, complete with huge, terrifying mask. This was another huge party; there was appreciable overlap with last night's guests, but it was switched up at the same time. Andrew P made me carry his beer over from last night, so I taxed him a Miller Lite and settled in. Jared and the boys apparently obtained 8 handles for $80 in New Hampshire, but the ensuing shots of Zhenka were surprisingly tolerable.
          Dave Z, Nathan and I party-hopped, dropping by the Phons to see how things were going there and return Laura's Hit Girl throwing star. I chatted with Meredith, took a shot with Lauren B, and played slap cup until someone knocked a full cup onto Sarah. We bailed after maybe 45 minutes and returned for more dancing at Jared's (Ryan L was DJ once again) and more drinks as well. Spill-wise, this was the worst night I ever had: 3 party fouls in under an hour and a half, one of which was on the stairs (1/2 nightmare, 1/2 extra convenient) and another that I wiped up with my socks. I enjoyed a long heart-to-heart with Erika before Emily and I walked home in the extreme cold.
          Quotes of the day:
"She looks like a Lenscrafters model." - Alaric, re: Felicity Smoke
"This is like Samwell Tarly going beyond the Wall." - Emily

Warlocks

          The Green Line was shut down this morning, and nearly all of the staff came in late. Downtown Crossing still reeks of curdled milk. I spent hours digging through the basement in search of files that were cleared for destruction, which is easier said than done. After consuming an ungodly amount of candy, I went to the bank to take care of business and say goodbye to Abner, since he's starting at another job on Monday. Costumes sighted downtown: young woman with devil horns and red bow tie; guy on crutches dressed as a giraffe, with said crutches dressed up as "legs"; girl in a cheerleader uniform; dude in a perfect Hulk Hogan costume; baby twins as devil and angel; ultra cute child dressed as Thomas the Tank Engine, followed by an ultra creepy adult dressed as Po from the Teletubbies.
          Our Halloween party was a resounding success. Sara baked a creepy cake, Alaric set up an apple bobbing station in our cooler, and we had bowls of candy at the ready. I was frazzled at the beginning because Alaric and Nathan, the extroverts of the apartment, were performing with Ryan and it was up to me and Sean to run things. We managed to get it off the ground, people got drunk, and fun happened. Numerous guests were in attendance; I spent much of the party with either Maddie and her friend Shreya, sitting with Steph/Julia/Emily, shooting the shit with Matt T and Griffin, or dancing with Lindsay, Jane and Lauren F. Some highlight-reel costumes: Amy as a BC girl; Maddie as a flapper; Griffin as a pirate (complete with booty); Rachelle as Violet Parr; Luke's Ace Frehley + something else; Iris as a Hershey kiss; Lauren F as a nun. I went as Carlos Danger, private dick and man of mystery. With the possible exception of the spontaneous rave at 1023 -- the cut-up glow sticks were a foot-stabbing nightmare -- this was the messiest party we've ever thrown. Ryan L took it on himself to throw Laffy Taffy everywhere, and candy wrappers are going to creep out of the couch for weeks. Tomorrow, we're going to Jared's to do it again!
          Quotes of the day:
"I had to take the 66 from Coolidge Corner to Roxbury Crossing and then take the Orange Line in. I could have walked faster." - Kara
"Man, we're mulchers. Look at this bowl - it just goes down." - Jodi, re: the candy situation
...
Gerry: "So, you're gonna drink a beer and pass out the candy?"
Emmett: "I won't be as obvious as a brown paper bag, but..."

Poor Old Jack

          I rose early to sort through more clippings; hopefully I can get through all of them before Halloween, so they're safely away and/or being put up. I was in a sunny mood for the morning commute, despite a moment of claustrophobia on the T, and settled into work. I'm now a Keurig magician: 6 oz. milk chocolate hot cocoa + 6 oz. French vanilla coffee + a little cream = sweet sippin' caffeine conjunction junction.
          I came home to a very clean and reorganized apartment, courtesy of Alaric. We made drinks to get near-empty handles out of the way for tomorrow, put on Center Ice, and watched a lot of hockey. Alaric tested the fog machine, with hilariously effective results; I built the remainder of my Rangers shrine and am very proud of it; Emily came over and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas with me as we passed through midnight into Halloween. Highlights: Singing along; settling the question of whether you watch it on Christmas or Halloween along the way.
          Quotes of the day:
"I know what to do. I'll murder you in your sleep and taxidermy you. Stuffed animalllllll." - Iris

"It was a good double play. Good for charity, and good for business." - Emmett
"[REDACTED]'s theme song: 'Linger' by the Cranberries." - Emily

It Does Nothing!

Note: I'm proud that I've finally caught up on entries, having fallen three months behind. Here's hoping I can keep the lag to less than a week at the longest.

          There are no straight answers on Walter's condition yet; with luck, he'll make a speedy recovery. Another disgusting piece of news: Keytar Bear, that Bruins-jersey-and-bear-suit-wearing busker, was attacked and robbed at knifepoint last night. I just tipped this guy for brightening my day, and this is the thanks he gets? Two people filmed the incident on their smartphones, even as he was slashed in the face. New lows of human behavior don't surprise me anymore, but I still have the capacity to get angry about it. I got past a few sticky tasks that have been bugging me for a while, and felt good about my work at the end of the day.
          John Moore received a well-deserved 5-game suspension for headhunting Erik Haula; it sucks for my team, but I think it should have been a longer punishment given his repeat offender status. After work, I met Iris and we went to the apartment to watch hockey. As the Red Wings battled the Capitals in a dubious Wednesday Night Rivalry, Iris baked for the first time, to no discernible effect. I was pulling for the Red Wings and fell asleep with the Capitals up 2-1. Detroit ended up winning 4-2, so I guess that napping is a good luck charm for my teams; the others went to Tasty Burger and put on Parks and Rec. The dialogue from the show crept into my dreams and was delivered by random characters; it felt surreal when I woke and the same voices I'd just been listening to were coming out of different mouths. There was also a mushroom burger plopped right in front of me, and my bewilderment turned to joy as the burger went into my face.
          Quote of the day:
"This is just further proof that this one's gonna live forever." - Kara, re: Harold

"Groovy."

          I rose early and began to transform my closet door into a shrine to the Rangers. It's the first thing one sees when they walk in our front door, and as such, it needs to be impressive. At work, I was informed that Walter is in the hospital with fluid in his lungs -- probably related to the respiratory infection he picked up in Ireland. Fingers crossed. I interviewed another potential co-op, who turned out to be a clarinet named Christina from the pep band. Our conversation was light and pleasant, skirting the fact that we'd never spoken to each other before.
          After work, Emily and I ate quesadillas at El Pelon and made minimal conversation. (Her initials are EEK!) We returned to the apartment to watch the Bruins play the Wild; my allegiance and Alaric's lay with the Wild, while Nathan rooted for the B's and Emily kept her inclinations hidden. The Bruins were winning 3-1 when Alaric nudged the surge protector and inadvertently flipped the hyper-sensitive power switch. We reset all of the sacred telecommunications devices, but we have been derelict in our duties and were forced to sit through a lengthy TiVo update. (Seriously, how can updates for less than two months take so long to install?) Luckily, we caught the last several minutes of the game; much to my delight, the Wild eked out their own comeback and silenced TD Garden, 4-3.
          I took a break to obtain more wine for Nathan, Emily and myself. Alaric joined us for Emily's favorite movie, Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn. I haven't seen the original ED or the third movie, Army of Darkness, but I've heard a lot about them and star Bruce Campbell. Dead By Dawn was goofy to the extreme -- it felt like the funny 1/3 of Cabin In the Woods -- and full of hilarious, Nightmare On Elm Street-esque splatter effects. Highlights: Four different colors of blood, not counting shades of red; chainsaw arm; Ash laughing along with every object in the room; sentient plants ("I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.") Since Alaric and Emily somehow hadn't seen it, I, Robot was on deck. We discussed the appeal of Will Smith -- never the smartest, never the strongest, but always a scrappy everyman -- and enjoyed the pure, delicious quotability of the movie. I can't think of a single scene that doesn't have at least one memorable line. ("You're lucky I can't breathe, or I'd walk all up and down your ass!"...."I did not murder him!"...."That, Detective, is the right question."...."Humans in danger! Humans in danger!") I think Isaac Asimov is one of the most brilliant writers of the last century, but it's easy to forgive the movie's lack of relation to his work. The action is rousing, the CGI still looks fine ten years later, and Smith carries the movie like Mariah. Due to a later, untimely interruption, I walked Emily home and brainstormed about Halloween costumes with Nathan. He threw out some helpful ideas -- "Inspect-Her Gadget" was a solid choice -- but Parks and Rec ultimately gave me an answer.
          Quotes of the day:
"It's a digital world, brother." - Dave W
"I could say, 'Does God exist?' and you would say, 'Fine.'" - Russell, re: Emily's reticent nature
"I'm just glad someone did something stupid and it wasn't me." - Emily
"I'm totally down for being, like, the sex vessel of the rebellion." - Emily
...
Me: "You're a sweet tea Southern boy."
Nathan: "I could not hate sweet tea more."

East Coast Overdose

          I had a cruddy day of work, nodding off more often than not and getting little done. Late in the afternoon, I bumped into Keytar Bear on the way to the bank; I left him a tip for making me feel better with his sweet keytar tunes. Before keeling over in bed, I was dimly aware that the Wild were leading my Rangers 3-0. If memory serves, "god dammit" was the last thing I said to myself before blacking out. On awakening, I found that the Rangers had scored five goals in the third period to complete a massive comeback. The last time New York beat anyone when entering the third period and down three goals was in 1992, when they defeated another Minnesota team: the North Stars. I'm not proud of John Moore's dirty elbow on Erik Haula -- I like the occasional fight, but there's no place for needlessly savage goonery in hockey. Click to read the NHL's article about the game if you're interested. Also, the Oilers shut out the Habs 3-0, sweet revenge for Montreal's win the other night. It seems that Ben Scrivens is still Mr. Wonderful after all.

My emotions at this time: