The Bat Whisperer

          I shoveled down a Mother's Day breakfast of pancakes and bacon before jetting to work for the brunch shift, only to find eggs, bacon and potatoes provided there, which I dutifully scarfed. The brunch shift was pretty fast-paced, and we did good business. We had all these bite-sized muffins left over, so I took two take-out containers full of these. I forgot to mention that the restaurant is up 40% from last year and everything is going swimmingly. The enraging thing about today was that brunch officially ended at 3 p.m. and dinner began at 5 p.m. as usual, meaning that we should have had at least an hour's break in between, accounting for the typical lingerers who stick around for half an hour or whatever. However, one table overstayed their welcome by an hour and a half, meaning that we barely had time to sit down and eat something, let alone cool our heels, in between shifts. This was compounded by a 5:00 rez showing up at 4:45. Consequently, I was dead on my feet from the beginning of dinner, as well as burning the bejesus out of my finger on some mussel sauce and cutting my arm on some glass. Happily, I was permitted to leave at 6:30 rather than 8:30, but not before Chef hit me with a predictable offer: come work a few days in the dish station. I'm contemplating it, though the prospect makes me sick. After a few hours' slumber at home, my father woke me with a question: "Do you have any bats in here?" Groggily, I replied, "I don't think so." It turned out that one was loose in the house, and of course my mother is terrified of them (everyone else likes bats), so it was up to us to catch it. My father ended up climbing a ladder to trap it against a window with an old hat, then sliding a frisbee under said hat to form a bat-transporting container. We released it outside, unharmed, in our country-people way.
          Quotes of the day:
"Once they start meandering aroooound, guess what, they're fucking done." - Jeff
"Everybody is gonna get their motherfuckin' throats cut!" - Kait
"Somebody make the muffins disappear. I'm too tired for this shit!" - Abbie
"I dare you to drink that squid juice!" - Anastasia
"You better watch out in the dish, Chef's lookin' to scout you." - Danny