Xanadu

          Continued rain wasn't enough to dampen the mood at the office today -- Harold turned 92! It's not every day you see someone hit that milestone, and I'm certain it's very rare for them to still be part of the workforce. (I wonder what age marks the dropoff where someone isn't turning that old on any given day.) We shared a delicious and monstrously large delivery cake with "92" in those block number candles. I would have liked to see 92 actual candles on there, but my boss scrapped the idea, citing "risk of wildfire." Today was the second day this week that I felt fated to smoke; first, I was tasked with destroying "the Stoner file," involving someone of that name. Then, a guy named Grasso came to the reception desk and I didn't quite catch his name, so he replied, "Grasso, like the grass ya smoke."
          We introduced Iris to Gotham and she enjoyed it as well. In accordance with the prophecy, Stephanie arrived with a new piece, a tiny water pipe that hits like a mack truck. Alaric, Nathan and I spent the next 45 minutes or so trying to help Stephanie come up with a name for it. A partial list of suggestions: Thriller, Battle of the Bulge, Xanadu, the Eightfold Path, Shiva the Destroyer, the Maharajah, the Boxer Rebellion, Hiroshima, Lexington, Franklin Delano, Paris, Ulysses, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, P.T. Barnum, Kim Jong Thrill, Kim Jong Chill, the Magic Bullet, Poseidon. Also, we were treated to some droll hockey: the Oilers beating the Coyotes, Montreal crapping on Chicago, the Penguins blanking the Red Wings in CROSBY'S PRESEASON DEBUT (!!!!! someone out there cares!!!!1! but not me), and the Blue Jackets continuing to wreck the preseason with a 6-3 win over the Hurricanes. Even after all this, my personal favorite for the night was Buffalo's 6-1 bitchslap of the Capitals. The Sabres are due to be decent any year now...
          Quotes of the day:
"Hit me up on Friday or Saturday and I'll go on a bong voyage." - Alaric
...
Stephanie: "Explorica."
Nathan: "Billerica."
Me: "Bill$rica."
Alaric: "Bill$richa."