British Columbia

          Logan and I took off early for Zoom Flume, a waterpark about half an hour away. It's situated in Durham, a town that's some kind of Irish enclave, and we passed at least ten Irish-themed pubs, motels or gift shops. It turns out that Zoom Flume itself is still pretty awesome despite our advanced age. Our first ride for the day was the mediocre Raging River, the two of us occupying a six-person raft. We went around and around on my personal favorite, the actual ride called the Zoom Flume, a set of parallel slides that one rides a mat down Skeleton-style. We spent a couple of hours on the Lazy River alone (just floating around a circuit) and took advantage of the new wave pool (unfortunately packed with kiddies). We'd obtained discounted tickets since Logan's workplace was sponsoring an event, so we also got free BBQ and predictably terrible powdered beverages. After lunch, we rode the Anaconda, on which your mileage may vary -- I laughed like a maniac all the way down while Logan incurred pain for his trouble -- the Black Vortex, which is honestly kind of lame because you can't see anything, and Twin Tubin', which is a straight slide that's a lot more fun than it looks. Finally, it was time to conquer our old fears on the Grand Prix Expressway, a long, fast slide that nearly drowned both of us during childhood. This taught us that no matter your age, you still eat shit when you hit the pool at the bottom if your nose isn't firmly plugged. The only ride we avoided completely was the Canyon Plunge, a terrifying slide which flies down into a canyon and hurt my friend's back when we were younger.The sky had been ominous all day, and a light rain finally began to fall just as we were heading out. It picked up on the ride back to Logan's, but our spirits were high and we enjoyed the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack as we went. Aside: Logan does a very credible Bee Gees impression.
          Quotes of the day:
"Our little hidey-hole for the day." - Logan
"My job is to kick water in people's faces." - Logan
"Advanced Kryptonian technology." - me, explaining the wave pool
"Ahhh, bug juice! You got the shit end of the stick, friend!" - me
"So you do this one bareback?" - Logan
"I almost impregnated that girl." - Logan
...
Logan: "Yours have Tony Hawk on them. I don't think mine are Hawk."
Me: "You jelly?"
Logan: "Yeah a little bit."

(It feels creepy to use this family's video to illustrate the experience, but there are no good pictures of the Canyon Plunge on the internet. At 1:30 there's a pretty good representation of the slide, though it's filmed at an inexplicable angle and lacks the "looking out over the slide into the canyon of death below" element.)