Quoth the Hipster

          My router is now in working order. It only works in the basement and the room directly above it, which I suppose is passable. At least I don't get filthy just sitting there. Elsewhere, I can occasionally get a dot of reception, but nothing I can work with. I was able to get on Skype chat with Iris around eleven a.m. (eleven p.m. for her) and we had a nice talk. In the early evening, Nick, Tim and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings for Wing Night, but they were closed until later due to lack of hot water. We ended up eating in the mall food court and hung out in FYE instead. Nick informed me that a cheerleader that graduated from Saugerties a couple of years ago is working for Bangbros (a porn site) under the name Bella Rose. "She has one video and it's horrible," said Nick. I investigated as far as her Bangbros profile, but I didn't recognize her and didn't care enough to watch the allegedly awful video. We went back to Nick's to chill out and watch some television; tonight, the program was the refreshingly dumb Loiter Squad and the astonishingly dumb Nitro Circus. As the three of us plan to make some music this summer, we discussed possible band names. Some examples: Holy Smokes!, Holy! Smokes, Holy Expletive, New Coke, Stinkfinger, Limp Bizkit II, Jeffrey and the Dahmers. I got home around ten and got on Google+, successfully this time, and had a great video chat with the two Laurens, Laura, Meredith, Sabrina, Ryan, Alaric, Sean, and Chris. It was good to see them after our three weeks of separation. I rounded out the night with a couple more hours of TF2, a perk of college wireless which has also been lacking recently.
          A new one-day quote record has been set.
"I wrote a new song called 'Steady Diet of Mac & Cheese'. It's about eating shitty food and making poor nutritional decisions." - Nick
"Oh, god. The last time he pitched a movie to me, Bruce Willis killed a baby and tossed a cigarette at a gas pump in the first scene." - Nick
"Mothafuckin' Egyptian cotton sheets, mothafuckin' mink blanket." - Tim
"Hey Nick, you ever get choked to death while driving because you talk too much?" - Tim
"Ain't no one pop like this, not even Orville Reddenbacher." - Nick
"It was some kind of live event at the food court, this fat, creepy guy playing Flo Rida songs and doing the fucking hokey pokey and shit with kids." - Nick
"When I ran up on you to fart on you, I broke a blood vessel in my fist." - Tim
"Nothing spells alcoholism like falling down and spilling beer all over the place while trying to sing 50 Cent's 'Candyshop'." - Nick
"You can sing a little bit, make them pussies wet..." - Nick
"Dammmnnnnn girl, give me that chocolate drank." - Tim
"...Cthulhu Cock..." - Nick
"Yeah, they lured kids in with skateboarding and rollerblading and stuff, and then they're like, 'Yo. Jesus.'" - Nick
"M. Ward sounds like Tom Waits if he didn't have a fucking whiskey distillery for a throat." - Tim
"Ted Nugent has the ability to deflect bullets with guitar solos." - Nick
"One of these days you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me that Sunny Day Real Estate is a pop punk band, and I am gonna cut your throat." - Tim
"Imagine we say that, though, and they come out of the ceiling like ninjas, 'cause they are ninjas, they're all ninjas, and they fuckin' fuck us dry." - Tim, on female Asians
"We call Jay 'Latino Heat' all the time. He loves wrestling and he's Puerto Rican." - Nick
"So we keep on jiggling it." - Laura
"In Russia, the man does not make the wish. In Russia, the wish makes the man." - me
...
"Punks are gonna like it and hipster girls are gonna want to dance to it. Andy's still gonna be the ladies' man, except the difference between this and Bears With Guns is I'm gonna put him on blast and tell all the chicks he's flirting with at shows that he has a girlfriend. ... There was some young-ass bitch from New Jersey that was on tour with Washington Square Park that you and Josh were all over." - Nick, misremembering
...
"Jim Gaffigan is a bullfighter in Spain. He's the master bullfighter, the country's greatest bullfighter. No, the greatest bullfighter in the world. And this bull comes from space, like, a super-bull. And he's gotta take care of business." - Tim, detailing a movie idea
...
Nick: "I knew it was a diet pill! They always have the dumbest commercials."
Tim: "Rrrrraaaaaa, look how sexy I am!"
Nick: "Except if you take that stuff, you'll end up dead at Benedictine Hospital tomorrow. There's nothing sexy about that."
...
Me: "You should change your name to Holy Smokes."
Tim: "And we could call the band Stinkfinger."

          The images below should approximate my face for most of the night.