In For the Kill

          I started work with an nasty flub, accidentally deleting an answering machine message before I wrote down the number of the caller. I called all over the place in a panic and ended up finding the person who had contacted me with some sleuthing and blind luck. I consoled the client, an elderly lady who's getting slammed with healthcare bills, got a bunch of work done on the case, and felt quite useful. This woman sounds like she is at the end of her rope, and it's a little scary talking to someone at that point in their life. Bank of America called to inform me that thy found my check and had deposited it for me, and were once again very kind and professional. I then proceeded to ruin my mood by making the same mistake as always and reading comments (stupid! stupid! stupid!) on internet news. This particular article was a masturbatory Iran v. MURCA blurb about a U.S. pilot threatening two Iranian pilots in inferior jets after they flew "too close" to a U.S. drone. (Link here.) I couldn't find the solitary comment that I appreciated, a reaction to a comment to the effect of "they should have just blown them out of the sky", but I will paraphrase: "A death sentence for flying within 16 miles of an unmanned drone in international airspace?" And the pilot in question is lionized for being an asshole about it. No diplomacy, no plain old "give our drone some space," just "you should really go home." I admit this is conjecture, but this triumphant tone of this article and the discussion surrounding it are just further evidence that "exceptionalism with a side of superiority complex" is the true American mindset. Moving on... Connie, a former clerk in Mark's office, visited and had a long, involved conversation with Jeremy about disability, Social Security, and the inflation of college costs. Jeremy mentioned being contacted by Colgate's alumni donation solicitors and asking them why costs have increased at three times the rate of inflation. "Can you please get back to me on why that is? And then I'll cut you a check." I kept wanting to jump into said discussion, but a) I was not invited, and b) I probably would have been in way over my head.
          In the evening, the band played at a volleyball game versus the vile Boston College, in which we smashed them three sets to one. Some kind of rap battle was going on outside Curry, but I did not linger to investigate. The next step was a gathering of the tribe at the spot, including Iris, Peter, Clay, Jared, Alaric, Haley, Becky, Jasmin, and Julia (the wild card for the night.) Highlights: Becky doing some weird, strangled cough; narrowly missing corrupting Jasmin because of the same; huge mood swings when the music changed; Julia turning out to be a fellow space cadet; Julia having a completely silent, expressionless panic attack and not informing us of this until an hour later. Some folks trickled out for a BU party (...) and the rest of us hit the bricks for Tasty Burger. We numbered six in all -- Alaric, Haley, Jared, Peter, Iris, and me -- and despite an extremely busy night, we managed to snag one of those semi-secluded tables in the alcove by the pool table. This turned out perfectly, and there was much rejoicing. The best part of the outing was Jared's decision to take a chance on the Butta Burger. This burger is cooked with what can only be described as a slab of butter (it doesn't all melt) and a pile of caramelized onions on top, and he wisely opted for cheese as well. We each took a bite out of curiosity, and it was pretty tasty; by the time he finished the burger, Jared was nearly unable to move. Iris became similar bloated on just a milkshake, which was mystifying. After watching Jared suffer for a while, we established that it will be tradition for someone to order the Butta Burger each time we go there, until all of us have been initiated.
          Quotes of the day:
"They need a team to do the work he does alone!" - a client, on Jeremy
"She sends these yelling emails... I feel like we're in Harry Potter, you know, where they send those Screamers?" [sic] - Lori
"She's my girlfriend. I think she was my girlfriend last year." - Clay
"This is one of those times I wish I was black." - Clay
"It looks like a cross between a keyboard and a breathalyzer." - Peter
"Please come here, little ducklings!" - Iris
"Jared's a rock and a rock don't move." - me
"I'm going straight for the kill." - Jared
...
Me: "We have an Asian, my dreams are made."
Clay: "Is she your volleyball girlfriend?"
Me: "Nah, white headband."